Equating Polygyny & Cheating? (Response) (2022-08-31) #

0:00:00 hey you are you wasting your time on
0:00:02 social media again your brothers and
0:00:04 sisters in islam net from norway are
0:00:06 establishing a masjid a tawa center
0:00:10 establishing a masjid to convey the
0:00:11 message of islam is one of the best
0:00:14 deeds a muslim can do there's a huge
0:00:17 need for it in norway you know this and
0:00:18 i know this so that makes the reward
0:00:21 even greater so give generously and
0:00:24 allah azzawajal will give you even more
0:00:28 [Music]
0:00:36 before we start this video
0:00:38 um i think many of you will be aware of
0:00:40 the fact that in pakistan now there are
0:00:41 severe floods
0:00:43 and as the muslim community it's really
0:00:45 incumbent and worship upon us
0:00:48 to step in you know pakistan is one of
0:00:51 the biggest muslim countries mightiest
0:00:53 muslim countries and a seventh of the
0:00:55 population of pakistan is affected by
0:00:57 these severe floods one thousand one
0:00:59 hundred people have already been uh have
0:01:02 already died in these floods so i will
0:01:04 say please
0:01:05 click on the link below and help the
0:01:07 individuals and the people in pakistan
0:01:11 the reason why i'm making this video is
0:01:12 because actually it's come to my
0:01:14 attention after the fact after i've
0:01:16 recorded a video with ali last week
0:01:18 it came to my attention that there was
0:01:19 one
0:01:20 incredibly disturbing and alarming thing
0:01:23 that i heard
0:01:24 which
0:01:25 i think maybe if you if you listen to it
0:01:27 as well coming from a muslim perspective
0:01:28 we'll agree is totally outrageous if
0:01:31 understood in the way that it's stated
0:01:34 let's see what's said if a woman stepped
0:01:36 out on her marriage
0:01:38 the vicious poisonous let's throw her
0:01:42 out and get up
0:01:45 he could spit on camera you know but in
0:01:47 a man's position as long as we get a
0:01:49 paper from the mosque and we cover it up
0:01:52 it's
0:01:53 she states if a woman stepped out of her
0:01:56 marriage
0:01:58 now
0:01:58 this
0:01:59 phrase stepped out of her marriage i'll
0:02:01 be honest with you
0:02:04 i thought she meant a divorce and still
0:02:06 maintain that she might have meant that
0:02:10 if a woman tried to try to seek a
0:02:11 divorce would try to go for a hola or
0:02:14 something like that
0:02:15 then xyz and then she goes on to compare
0:02:18 it with a man being married or getting a
0:02:21 people from the mosque getting married
0:02:23 uh
0:02:24 you know you know in a legitimately
0:02:26 islamic way getting a paper from the
0:02:27 mosque probably with without the
0:02:29 knowledge of his wife that's my
0:02:30 understanding of what's happened now
0:02:32 first and foremost
0:02:34 i don't want to go straight for the
0:02:36 jugular here
0:02:37 because although
0:02:39 miriam webster's dictionary and
0:02:42 cambridge dictionary both of them
0:02:43 defined the term stepping out as being
0:02:45 unfaithful which of course includes
0:02:47 sexual
0:02:48 uh infidelity here it's talking about a
0:02:50 woman who's committed adultery versus a
0:02:52 man who's married another woman
0:02:54 although that could be interpreted like
0:02:55 this
0:02:56 i will not interpret it like that
0:02:58 because there is plausible deniability i
0:03:00 will employ hoss navan on this occasion
0:03:03 and i will actually persuade and
0:03:05 encourage everyone else listening to
0:03:06 this to do so
0:03:08 however because the matter is has some
0:03:10 level of shubha has some level of
0:03:12 ambiguity
0:03:13 i think still
0:03:15 it requires a refutation
0:03:17 and moreover i will say this even if she
0:03:19 did not sister samaya did not intend
0:03:21 what she said
0:03:22 or what what i've just described
0:03:25 this
0:03:26 comparison we find very widespread among
0:03:29 the muslim community a comparison of
0:03:33 a polygyny that is done especially if
0:03:34 it's done
0:03:35 without the first wife's knowledge with
0:03:38 full out adultery which is zinna in the
0:03:41 context of marriage which as we know
0:03:44 both a man and a woman in islam if they
0:03:47 commit such an act
0:03:48 both a man or a woman this is considered
0:03:51 one of the worst
0:03:54 worst sins in all of islam
0:03:57 now let me attack the notion here if
0:04:00 someone who is a muslim who claims to be
0:04:02 a muslim
0:04:04 makes such a comparison
0:04:06 and tries to create continuity moral
0:04:08 continuities between the two notions
0:04:10 then they have actually admitted to
0:04:12 themselves that there is there is
0:04:15 something immoral
0:04:16 in polygyny even
0:04:19 something immoral and pollutiony that
0:04:21 doesn't require the first wise
0:04:22 permission and or consent
0:04:25 i will say where is the evidence for
0:04:27 that i will say where is the evidence
0:04:29 for that in islam
0:04:31 where is if one is
0:04:33 if one is predicating yes
0:04:36 their morality on an islamic system i
0:04:39 want to know the evidence where such two
0:04:42 things can be compared in fact to the
0:04:44 contrary
0:04:45 you cannot compare something the prophet
0:04:47 himself salah did
0:04:49 the sahaba did
0:04:51 with something like this and doing so
0:04:54 means has exposed quite frankly would
0:04:56 expose
0:04:58 yeah it would totally expose
0:05:01 the spiritual bankruptcy that
0:05:03 individuals have on this notion it would
0:05:05 expose it and i'll go further than this
0:05:09 will say not only does it expose it
0:05:12 this one mess allah this one mata here
0:05:16 could be a window to your entire islam
0:05:19 what is your evidence for that muhammad
0:05:21 the evidence for that is what allah
0:05:38 that you believe in parts of the book
0:05:40 and reject other parts of the book
0:05:43 now i'm not saying this by the way just
0:05:45 to make it more clear this is uh
0:05:48 applicable to sister samaya because once
0:05:50 again there is plausible deniability but
0:05:52 the notion that two things come like
0:05:54 this can be compared is totally
0:05:57 is totally incorrect
0:05:59 now i want to take a step back and talk
0:06:00 about something quite important
0:06:03 individuals because this has pastoral
0:06:04 implications who are actually going
0:06:06 through polygamy and you know women
0:06:09 particularly who have serious emotions
0:06:11 you know because it's difficult
0:06:13 it is a jihad in itself it is a struggle
0:06:17 especially for the first wife
0:06:18 you know it's very difficult anxiety and
0:06:21 jealousy and anger and frustration
0:06:24 it is not haram for a woman and i make
0:06:26 this very clear it is not haram for a
0:06:28 woman
0:06:29 to
0:06:30 not like polygamy for herself
0:06:33 the prophet muhammad said clearly
0:06:37 that jannah has been surrounded by hated
0:06:38 things dislike things
0:06:40 and allah subhanahu wa he says in the
0:06:42 quran
0:06:44 he says
0:06:59 has been prescribed for you and it is
0:07:01 hated for you and you can hate something
0:07:03 which is good for you
0:07:05 so there's nothing un-islamic
0:07:07 sacrilegious blaspheming about the fact
0:07:10 that a woman doesn't want this for
0:07:11 herself i'm making this candidly clear
0:07:12 it's very important
0:07:15 i mean most women will not want this for
0:07:16 themselves and for good reason that is
0:07:18 within their nature not to like it men
0:07:20 should not blame them for that
0:07:22 let me be clear men should not blame
0:07:23 them for that oh i don't want to no no
0:07:25 that is within her right and her nature
0:07:29 in fact she'll be rewarded
0:07:31 if she continues and is resilient and so
0:07:33 on
0:07:35 however
0:07:37 the problem lies
0:07:39 not in the fact that you hate it for
0:07:41 yourself but that you start to abhor it
0:07:43 or find it repugnant in and of itself
0:07:47 or
0:07:47 as a as a normative practice
0:07:51 practiced by certain muslim
0:07:53 practitioners
0:07:54 let me make this clear by giving in
0:07:56 giving an analogy let me give an analogy
0:07:59 of eating meat okay eating meat
0:08:03 in islam
0:08:04 eating meat is halal
0:08:06 it is not wedjib just like polygamy is
0:08:08 halal it's not worship okay
0:08:10 now somebody can say i don't want to eat
0:08:12 meat because of helpful health reasons
0:08:14 and not eat meat abstain from eating
0:08:16 meat or in fact can hate eating meat
0:08:18 because of what it does to them
0:08:19 physically
0:08:20 or even feel sickened by eating meat
0:08:22 maybe they see some animals walking
0:08:24 around and they feel sick and that the
0:08:25 thought that this animal will be
0:08:26 slaughtered and then i'll consume the
0:08:28 animal therefore every time they eat a
0:08:30 burger or whatever then they actually
0:08:32 feel
0:08:33 physically
0:08:34 sick and so they don't eat meat
0:08:37 they don't like meat for themselves they
0:08:38 find it sickening they don't like it
0:08:41 now it's fine for that muslim say i feel
0:08:43 sick by eating meat and i don't want to
0:08:44 eat meat
0:08:46 but when that muslim turns around and
0:08:47 says look at those people eating meat
0:08:49 you see now what's going on look at
0:08:51 those people eating meat
0:08:53 look at those people eating meat they
0:08:54 are doing something immoral
0:08:57 look how bad they are
0:08:58 how could they eat them
0:09:00 how could they eat meat how could they
0:09:01 do such a thing how cruel they are how
0:09:03 barbaric they are how oppressive they
0:09:05 are now you have moved into more than
0:09:08 just a gray area
0:09:10 because you have now attributed
0:09:12 oppression to something which allah has
0:09:14 allowed
0:09:15 oppression
0:09:16 with something which allah has allowed
0:09:18 and vul
0:09:20 in the arabic language is what if
0:09:24 it's putting something in other than its
0:09:26 rightful placement but then allah says
0:09:30 eat from whatever you like from what we
0:09:32 have allowed and he did not make
0:09:34 so by saying that about those
0:09:36 individuals that eating meat now you've
0:09:38 moved into a major grey area even more
0:09:40 than a gray area now you are
0:09:42 going into the coffer zone i'm not
0:09:45 saying you have committed kuffar or that
0:09:46 you are careful but your your viewing is
0:09:48 a slippery slope because the next step
0:09:51 after that is saying eating meat is
0:09:53 wrong which is the equivalent here by
0:09:54 saying polygamy is wrong it's immoral
0:09:56 it's unjust it's oppressive that
0:09:59 is something which is cool for akbar the
0:10:02 cover that takes somebody out of the
0:10:03 religion of islam
0:10:05 because clearly allah says the opposite
0:10:07 so what i'm saying is that there's a
0:10:08 fine line between analogy one two and
0:10:11 three
0:10:12 having said this
0:10:15 if we go back now and we talk about why
0:10:18 this is so
0:10:19 powerful
0:10:20 the idea that this can be seen as
0:10:22 oppressive to even muslim people men and
0:10:25 women
0:10:25 is actually a powerful proposition is it
0:10:27 because there is a great deal of
0:10:30 academic evidence and first principle
0:10:33 argumentation
0:10:34 from ethics in ethics and morality
0:10:38 on consequentialist grounds or
0:10:40 deontological grounds no it's not
0:10:41 because of any of that the reason why
0:10:43 this is a powerful argument is simply
0:10:46 because men and women especially first
0:10:48 wives have an emotional theological
0:10:50 reaction to the matter and they feel
0:10:53 pain
0:10:54 because they feel pain pain is a very
0:10:55 powerful thing
0:10:57 pain is a very powerful thing and then
0:10:59 when you have pain that pain can then be
0:11:01 transferred onto empathetically to other
0:11:04 women who put themselves in the position
0:11:06 of that particular woman first wife
0:11:08 who went through that pain
0:11:11 and this in psychology is referred to
0:11:13 as
0:11:14 uh emotive
0:11:16 contagiousness or something to affect so
0:11:18 you actually become sorry empathetic
0:11:21 contagiousness empathetic contagiousness
0:11:23 is the term that bloom uses in his book
0:11:27 that empathetic contagiousness that your
0:11:29 pain becomes someone else's pain
0:11:31 and then the general argument is
0:11:33 my pain
0:11:35 how could the how could
0:11:38 such a person allow me to be in pain
0:11:40 pain is oppression basically pain and
0:11:42 impression are two sides of the same
0:11:43 coin that's the brain if i'm in pain
0:11:45 then whoever is causing that pain to me
0:11:47 is oppressing me
0:11:48 of course such an argument is fallacious
0:11:51 it's uh a fallacious argument strictly
0:11:54 from an ethical perspective and
0:11:55 unsubstantiated
0:11:57 however
0:11:59 we'll we'll say something else
0:12:02 just because it's a fallacious argument
0:12:04 from an academic perspective it doesn't
0:12:05 mean this the pain is not real and once
0:12:07 again we have to acknowledge that women
0:12:08 go through a lot of pain jealousy anger
0:12:11 frustration
0:12:12 but just because you're just because
0:12:15 it's true that you have pain
0:12:17 it is true
0:12:18 that you have pain it doesn't mean that
0:12:20 your pain is the truth
0:12:22 meaning here you cannot use your pain to
0:12:25 diagnose
0:12:27 or otherwise
0:12:28 arbitrate what is true and what is false
0:12:30 from a from a moral perspective you have
0:12:33 no
0:12:34 epistemological
0:12:36 or theological right to do so there's no
0:12:39 there's actually no argument there
0:12:41 do you see and i gave the argument
0:12:42 already i spoke to you in the previous
0:12:44 video which you can watch about certain
0:12:46 double standards from a theological
0:12:47 paradigm which certain uh first wives uh
0:12:51 who uphold the act or have shown some
0:12:53 discontent with it
0:12:55 actually employ
0:12:56 but this empathetic contagiousness
0:13:00 although it's not academically robust
0:13:02 it's an emotional argument it's a flat
0:13:04 out emotional argument
0:13:06 which is filled with velocity and
0:13:08 untruth
0:13:10 and is baseless
0:13:12 it is still very powerful
0:13:14 because quite frankly
0:13:17 the statistical abstractions
0:13:20 of the consequentialist arguments for
0:13:22 polygamy on a collective
0:13:24 collectivist level
0:13:25 is something which people can't
0:13:27 empathize with you cannot as bloom said
0:13:30 you cannot empathize with statistical
0:13:33 abstractions
0:13:35 in other words if i tell you
0:13:37 there's for example some
0:13:38 consequentialist arguments or arguments
0:13:40 about consequences if i say to you
0:13:43 uh polygamy solves this problem this
0:13:44 societal problem which one for example
0:13:47 uh it increases the muslims in the in
0:13:49 the world
0:13:50 which for us is an objective sharia
0:13:53 the prophet told us to
0:13:55 do that
0:13:56 for example if someone
0:13:57 polygamy solves another issue which
0:13:59 issue is this
0:14:01 uh single mothers or divorcees who need
0:14:04 to get married and find it difficult on
0:14:05 the marriage market for many years five
0:14:07 years ten years
0:14:08 then they finally find somebody through
0:14:10 polygamy which they would otherwise not
0:14:12 have found
0:14:13 so it solves you have a surplus of women
0:14:15 that now it solves an issue here
0:14:18 it puts more people in psychological if
0:14:20 you put utilitarian basis uh
0:14:22 state of stability
0:14:24 in fact there was there was actually a
0:14:26 study that was conducted on 56
0:14:29 tribes
0:14:31 villages sorry 56 villages i think it is
0:14:33 the only one of its kind
0:14:35 or and this this was a study that was
0:14:37 done in the western academic setting
0:14:40 and in that study they concluded that
0:14:43 there is no harm in polygamy from that
0:14:44 perspective in fact they mention stock
0:14:47 argumentation for some of the advantages
0:14:49 from a collectivist paradigm they say
0:14:51 for example the economic resources are
0:14:52 spread uh it increases um education
0:14:56 obviously because of economic resource
0:14:57 spread than education within their
0:14:59 certain families and so on
0:15:01 so
0:15:02 these arguments i'm putting forward to
0:15:03 you now which are collectivistically
0:15:05 consequential
0:15:06 in nature
0:15:08 are cold
0:15:09 rationalization you can't empathize with
0:15:11 them so even though
0:15:13 on this basis you can make an argument
0:15:16 it's not gonna compete for certain
0:15:18 people who have had emotional
0:15:19 theological reactions with the bitter
0:15:22 pain
0:15:24 of the emotional argument even though
0:15:26 it's a fallacious argument why is the
0:15:27 argument the argument is
0:15:29 uh i feel pain therefore is oppressive
0:15:31 which is false it's a wrong
0:15:33 how do you prove how do you jump from a
0:15:34 to b annie the point is
0:15:37 so that's the first thing so this is
0:15:39 very important
0:15:40 the second thing is to do with this the
0:15:43 point of disclosure because they
0:15:44 mentioned it many times in their video
0:15:46 and i didn't mention it didn't talk
0:15:47 about it
0:15:48 now in the religion of islam
0:15:50 the origin of islam does not encourage
0:15:52 that you always have full disclosure
0:15:55 with your partner
0:15:56 in fact there's a hadith and quite
0:15:57 frankly
0:15:58 i'm saying it reluctantly because some
0:16:00 people may misuse it
0:16:02 some of us
0:16:04 may misuse it especially young people
0:16:05 like me will misuse it yes but the
0:16:08 hadith which says
0:16:11 that lying is not allowed except in
0:16:14 three circumstances and one of the
0:16:15 circumstances is hadith
0:16:20 and to be fair the hadith also says
0:16:22 hadith
0:16:26 that if
0:16:27 her husband
0:16:29 speaks
0:16:30 to his wife or if his wife speaks to her
0:16:34 husband the religion of islam does not
0:16:37 encourage full disclosure when it comes
0:16:39 to marital affairs why because there are
0:16:41 some things which the in romantic
0:16:44 relationships are if
0:16:45 uh explained it can cause some serious
0:16:48 detriment to the marriage and even the
0:16:50 prophet muhammad he did this himself
0:16:53 not that he lied but he kept things
0:16:55 secret and this is in the quran
0:17:02 about
0:17:15 kept
0:17:16 something from some of his wives
0:17:24 he told some of his wife not to tell the
0:17:25 other ones
0:17:28 so this whole discourse which was quite
0:17:30 prominent about no it's you have to be
0:17:33 completely open and honest and so on
0:17:35 this is actually
0:17:37 not substantiated with the text there
0:17:39 are some things in a marital situation
0:17:41 from an islam perspective which should
0:17:42 not be disclosed full disclosure is not
0:17:45 the islamic position clearly not
0:17:48 so this idea as a why doesn't he come
0:17:49 and speak to her person that especially
0:17:51 let me make a prediction for you
0:17:53 if as we're seeing because a lot of
0:17:55 these matters
0:17:57 are actually interconnected there's a
0:17:59 flesh that joins all of this stuff
0:18:01 in the western context for example
0:18:03 we're seeing and i've mentioned this in
0:18:05 previous podcasts we're seeing for
0:18:07 example
0:18:08 men's children be taken away from him
0:18:10 and weaponized at the expense of the
0:18:12 children's well-being their educational
0:18:14 health their physical health their
0:18:15 psychological health and the man
0:18:19 yes and even the extended family of that
0:18:21 man which includes women by the way for
0:18:23 for example the man's mother etc so when
0:18:26 a dispute happens in a marriage or that
0:18:28 the woman will say to the man i threaten
0:18:30 you with the kids
0:18:33 or if you do this you're not going to
0:18:34 see your kids again
0:18:35 so in this situation if the man if you
0:18:37 put him in this position and he gets
0:18:39 married without your knowledge
0:18:41 then you have given him some reasonable
0:18:42 basis to do so quite frankly you have
0:18:45 given him a reasonable you have given
0:18:47 him a reasonable basis to do so because
0:18:49 you're simply saying if you i'm going to
0:18:51 reward your honesty
0:18:53 with destruction
0:18:55 how do you expect quite frankly
0:18:57 a man to respond to such a situation who
0:19:00 let's say is physiologically
0:19:02 inclined towards the politicians option
0:19:05 now if you're a fool quite frankly if
0:19:07 you're a fool then you will say such a
0:19:09 thing because now you're basically
0:19:11 giving him justification not to disclose
0:19:14 certain facts
0:19:15 if you're not a fool and you handle the
0:19:17 matter with maturity then surely the man
0:19:21 may be honest with you may have a full
0:19:23 disclosure and speak to you about all
0:19:24 these matters
0:19:25 this so i predict
0:19:27 so long as
0:19:28 we see runaway fathers which i've
0:19:30 already expressed my disdain for by the
0:19:32 way
0:19:33 runaway fathers and mothers who
0:19:35 weaponize their children continue to
0:19:37 proliferate in our societies and
0:19:39 acquiescence to such figures
0:19:42 we will see more secret marriages or
0:19:44 let's not call them secretary marriages
0:19:45 where the first wife does not know in
0:19:47 society and they are jewish potentially
0:19:49 possible by the way as jurors
0:19:51 prudentially possible as for example a a
0:19:54 woman who does ishtarat before a
0:19:57 marriage according to the hambulim and
0:19:58 some other motherhood which is that she
0:20:00 says before a man gets married if you do
0:20:02 polygamy then the divorce will take
0:20:04 place it's mentioned but
0:20:06 many people mention
0:20:08 at this point i'll give you references
0:20:10 for that so in other words if a woman
0:20:11 says i insist on monogamy and according
0:20:13 to the humbly method they accept it but
0:20:15 other motherhood no
0:20:17 since we're so since we're being jewish
0:20:19 prudentially open say no you shot unless
0:20:24 they bring the hadith
0:20:26 and they say any condition that is not
0:20:27 within the book of allah then it's
0:20:29 already nullified and this is the
0:20:31 majority opinion
0:20:32 okay
0:20:33 so with this
0:20:35 i feel like
0:20:36 what is being encouraged here with the
0:20:38 attack on fat was the attack on uh
0:20:40 religion and so on uh polygyny and so on
0:20:42 an indirect attack i'm not saying
0:20:44 necessarily with the talk sisters but
0:20:46 generally in the muslim sphere
0:20:47 especially in the western world with the
0:20:49 influence of feminism
0:20:50 is a culture of jurisprudential
0:20:52 sensoriousness
0:20:55 a gag culture of jurisprudential
0:20:57 sensoriousness where men
0:20:59 will feel like their their only option
0:21:01 is x y and z and women don't know also
0:21:03 their options that they can do shadow
0:21:05 before the marriage and so on
0:21:07 and i want to say this you know
0:21:10 if we do instead of thinking about the
0:21:12 matter with a solid morality which is
0:21:15 anchored in the quran sunnah and in the
0:21:17 jewish prudential tradition but instead
0:21:19 opt to deal with the matter in a way
0:21:23 which is just based on our desires
0:21:26 then
0:21:27 we would be falling into exactly what
0:21:29 allah subhanahu ta'ala refuted in surat
0:21:31 al-mu'mun
0:21:32 subhan allah says
0:21:41 in chapter 23 verse number 71
0:21:43 that had the truth followed their
0:21:44 desires everything in the universe would
0:21:46 have been completely corrupt
0:21:48 the universe the heavens and the earth
0:21:49 and everything within them would have
0:21:50 been corrupt meaning what meaning that
0:21:52 there is a very delicate and
0:21:53 sophisticated system through which the
0:21:55 universe operates a very delicate a
0:21:58 delicate and sophisticated system call
0:22:00 it the fine tuning cooler wherever you
0:22:02 like
0:22:02 that it's a goldilocks zone of perfect
0:22:05 numbers
0:22:06 everything is if it wasn't like this
0:22:08 then the universe wouldn't be a certain
0:22:09 way
0:22:10 now the same thing applies the phone
0:22:12 that i'm using the microphone i'm using
0:22:14 the screen that you're watching me with
0:22:15 right now
0:22:16 all of that is based on hard
0:22:18 geometry and mathematics it's not based
0:22:20 on your volatile emotions
0:22:22 when you go on a plane it's not based on
0:22:24 your volatile emotions the systems on
0:22:26 the plane the engine on the plane
0:22:28 the the design of the architecture of
0:22:30 the plane is not based on emotions it's
0:22:32 based on hard facts
0:22:34 because your facts actually
0:22:37 are
0:22:38 indifferent to your emotions the facts
0:22:40 are indifferent to your emotions whether
0:22:42 you're
0:22:42 positive or negative
0:22:46 which means now if you decide to let
0:22:49 something as volatile as your own
0:22:52 emotions be the guide your moral guide
0:22:54 in life
0:22:56 then you you'll have a volatile life
0:22:58 you wouldn't allow such a thing to
0:23:00 happen on a plane you wouldn't say let
0:23:01 me based on i am going to ride a plane
0:23:04 that is based on a volatile set of
0:23:06 architectural
0:23:07 uh or arbitrary set of haphazard
0:23:09 architectural uh points of reference
0:23:13 which means what which means that when
0:23:14 you want truth
0:23:16 you opt for the truth which is solid you
0:23:18 don't and organized
0:23:21 moreover i want to make the point of
0:23:22 cognitive dissonance a lot of our
0:23:23 sisters have
0:23:25 its and brothers quite frankly and
0:23:26 brothers as well
0:23:28 they have started to develop
0:23:31 this disdain towards something which
0:23:32 allah has revealed
0:23:35 and by the way we've already mentioned
0:23:37 the ayat which talked about
0:23:40 if i taught me battle kitab and you
0:23:42 really believe in parts of the book
0:23:43 unless i believe in other parts and also
0:23:44 to be fair mention those ayat
0:23:48 which which reference that you can not
0:23:50 like something for yourself but we
0:23:52 there's one other set of ayats which we
0:23:54 haven't mentioned i'll just give you one
0:23:55 example
0:24:01 which is that one
0:24:02 muhammad
0:24:04 that is because they hated what allah
0:24:06 has revealed so allah has destroyed and
0:24:08 nullified all of their deeds
0:24:11 if you if you've become an individual
0:24:13 who went to stage three in the vegan
0:24:16 uh analogy which is now you're starting
0:24:18 to say
0:24:18 that the thing is immoral itself
0:24:21 then you're an individual who now
0:24:23 entertains
0:24:24 oh you hate what allah subhanahu wa
0:24:28 you hate what allah has revealed and
0:24:31 you're you're going to have nullified
0:24:33 actions you are going to have nullified
0:24:35 actions
0:24:38 yes you think this is a laughing matter
0:24:40 in a joking matter this is a serious
0:24:41 matter it's not google culture
0:24:44 yeah this is a serious matter and it
0:24:46 creates even on a psychological level it
0:24:48 creates cognitive dissonance because
0:24:50 cognitive dissonance is a psychological
0:24:52 disorder where you claim to believe in
0:24:54 something
0:24:55 but then actually your actions
0:24:58 show something completely different
0:25:00 so individuals who fall for this kind of
0:25:03 prey full prey to this kind of thing
0:25:05 they are the least psychologically
0:25:07 contented individuals because they
0:25:09 suffer from the deepest and most
0:25:11 entrenched type of cognitive dissonance
0:25:14 which causes an internal struggle within
0:25:16 them which leaves them unsettled and
0:25:18 anxious to say the least
0:25:21 and one more thing i wanted to say about
0:25:23 this whole religion issue
0:25:24 is about framing how this whole thing is
0:25:26 framed now this might sound
0:25:30 unusual to a lot of you
0:25:31 but many of you will know in the public
0:25:34 discourse we hear things the effect of
0:25:37 a man a muslim man has a right to marry
0:25:40 a christian and jewish woman
0:25:42 okay so it's spoken of what the options
0:25:45 of a marital options of a man are spoken
0:25:48 of in terms of rights this is framing
0:25:50 now
0:25:51 i'm saying okay
0:25:52 but a muslim man cannot marry a muslim
0:25:54 woman he's never framed a muslim man
0:25:58 does not have the right to marry a
0:25:59 muslim married sorry a married muslim
0:26:01 woman yeah
0:26:02 but it is never also framed that a
0:26:04 muslim woman has the right to marry
0:26:08 a muslim a married muslim man
0:26:11 so the whole rights responsibilities
0:26:14 rights inhibitions framing
0:26:17 is actually unusual to me it is skewed
0:26:20 it is biased it is wrong another thing
0:26:23 that can be said
0:26:25 is that for example when we talk about
0:26:28 uh
0:26:29 we're talking rights and
0:26:30 responsibilities when we talk about
0:26:33 the issue of policy
0:26:35 some especially non-muslim detractors
0:26:37 it's anti-islamic detractors they frame
0:26:40 the issue as an issue
0:26:42 where men are taking advantage of women
0:26:44 but actually
0:26:46 subsequent wives are also in the framing
0:26:48 here in other words there needs to be an
0:26:52 accomplice
0:26:53 and the accomplice is a subsequent wife
0:26:55 and the subsequent wife is a woman
0:26:56 herself
0:26:57 so why is the issue not seen as a woman
0:26:59 versus woman issue because it is as as
0:27:02 much
0:27:02 a woman versus woman issue as it is a
0:27:05 man versus woman issue there is as many
0:27:08 or even more women involved in the
0:27:09 equation of polygyny
0:27:11 as there are
0:27:13 women in other words more women do
0:27:15 preliginate to other women
0:27:18 in the equation of islamic polygyny then
0:27:20 men do
0:27:21 why because a man can have two wives
0:27:22 three or four in the case where he has
0:27:24 three that's two women doing it to one
0:27:27 or do two have been doing it to two
0:27:30 so how is it an issue of man versus what
0:27:32 the framing itself is disturbing
0:27:35 finally
0:27:36 we have already covered in great length
0:27:38 the issue of resilience and what is
0:27:40 being said to women and you can leave
0:27:41 and this and that
0:27:43 one very common thing that happens in
0:27:44 polygyny is that a woman will
0:27:48 ask or give the man an ultimatum if you
0:27:50 don't if you don't divorce this person
0:27:52 then goodbye
0:27:55 and the prophet saw he said
0:27:58 he clearly said let us
0:28:03 he said a woman should not ask for the
0:28:06 divorce of her sister
0:28:08 and you should not ask your husband give
0:28:10 him the ultimatums haram
0:28:14 and that she will not be given
0:28:16 uh except
0:28:19 what allah has done qatar on another way
0:28:21 that she will not be given from the
0:28:23 dunya except for allah has
0:28:26 has allowed for her so you should try
0:28:28 you cannot manipulate the qatar of allah
0:28:29 subhanahu ta'ala
0:28:31 yeah
0:28:32 try and take someone else's risk away
0:28:34 this is not right
0:28:36 and this can be done directly and it can
0:28:37 be done indirectly
0:28:39 because some women will not say directly
0:28:41 oh you know go in divorce i'll give you
0:28:42 an ultimatum but she'll make the man's
0:28:44 life hell and she will indirectly hint
0:28:46 at the fact that she wants him to to
0:28:48 divorce
0:28:49 the point being here is
0:28:51 these things are not mentioned in the in
0:28:52 the context of polygamy
0:28:54 these things are not mentioned in the
0:28:55 context and the idea of a woman herself
0:28:58 asking for a divorce for no reason
0:29:09 any woman who asked for her husband
0:29:12 a divorce for no reason than is haram
0:29:15 for her the fragrance of heaven these
0:29:16 things are not even mentioned by certain
0:29:18 sisters that are talking about the
0:29:20 rights and responsibilities and issues
0:29:21 like polygamy and that's why it's very
0:29:24 dangerous to come and speak about these
0:29:25 matters without islamic knowledge or
0:29:27 consultation or a fair representation
0:29:31 and that's why this these kinds of
0:29:32 videos are a required counter
0:29:36 to counter these kinds of other videos
0:29:38 and what i will say is when you consider
0:29:39 the mata clearly i will finish with what
0:29:42 i'm about to say
0:29:43 when you consider the matter clearly if
0:29:45 and you have to be honest with yourself
0:29:48 if whether you're a man or a woman but
0:29:50 going back to the vegan example if
0:29:52 you're an individual who has started to
0:29:55 find
0:29:56 disgusting
0:29:57 the fact that other men practice this
0:30:00 act of polygyny in a normative way
0:30:03 yeah
0:30:04 whether they do it in a way which is
0:30:06 just prudentially ideal or not
0:30:08 so long as it is halal and is allowable
0:30:10 through an opinion whether it's musiar
0:30:12 or not because messiah is
0:30:15 allowed in islam
0:30:17 yes it is allowed in islam
0:30:19 so that happened to zama i did this
0:30:23 so she's not doing a 50 50. such a such
0:30:26 a model is also flexible enough to be
0:30:28 allowable in islamic so whether it's
0:30:29 mission
0:30:30 or any type of polygyny which is
0:30:33 acceptable jewish prudentially
0:30:35 if you find yourself looking at such a
0:30:38 thing an action and saying that that is
0:30:40 disgusting in my opinion or i find that
0:30:42 people do that are oppressive then know
0:30:44 that you are skating on thin ice
0:30:46 know that you are playing with your iman
0:30:49 and know that the problem is deeper than
0:30:51 this masala this mess allah this issue
0:30:53 has just highlighted
0:30:56 highlighted the deeper iman problem
0:30:58 crisis that you have
0:31:01 because the real problem is maybe where
0:31:03 you have to look at it the extent to
0:31:05 which you actually believe
0:31:08 that the man called muhammad ibn
0:31:09 abdullah
0:31:11 who came in the seventh century
0:31:13 the man who claimed to be a prophet the
0:31:15 extent to which you believe this is
0:31:17 actually the case that is itself now in
0:31:19 question
0:31:20 because it's not just a matter of iman
0:31:22 or kufar there is a range of different
0:31:24 iman a man goes up and down yakkin is at
0:31:26 the highest
0:31:29 top level
0:31:30 uh certainty that's at the top level
0:31:33 here
0:31:34 yes
0:31:35 but you may be wavering at the 50 mark
0:31:38 you may be at the 55 60
0:31:40 this is where the issue is because
0:31:41 somebody
0:31:44 who believes 100 percent 100 percent
0:31:47 this thing is halal they will not have a
0:31:49 problem with the hukum itself in any way
0:31:51 or the practitioners of it they will
0:31:53 have a problem with it being done to
0:31:54 themselves as we saw the mothers of the
0:31:56 believers and the greatest women of all
0:31:57 time that's fine that you're allowed to
0:32:00 this is what is allowed
0:32:02 this is absolutely no one should be
0:32:03 shamed or blamed for any of that
0:32:05 but this is how it is
0:32:08 so if you realize that you have a hole
0:32:10 in your iman you have to go back to the
0:32:11 drawing board and read the seerah read
0:32:13 the quran do you ask
0:32:15 because when you do things like that
0:32:17 then your iman is raised and this stuff
0:32:19 becomes quite easy to believe to be
0:32:21 honest very easy to believe
0:32:23 that's all i have to say
0:32:26 the prophet muhammad
0:32:28 told us whoever builds a mosque for
0:32:30 allah allah will build for him a similar
0:32:33 house in jannah
0:32:35 and we know the great reward that will
0:32:37 not only be gained but rather will fill
0:32:40 your grave after your death whenever
0:32:42 someone prays there whenever someone
0:32:44 gives shahada in the masjid whenever
0:32:47 someone learns something in the message
0:32:50 yes
0:32:51 that will be something that you'll have
0:32:53 on your scale