Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy (2022-08-25)

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Summary of Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy

This summary is AI generated - there may be inaccuracies. *

00:00:00 [01:00:00

discusses how polygamy is perceived by many Muslims, with some seeing it as a positive practice and others as negative. also discusses how, despite the negative perception, polygamy is still allowed in Islam.

00:00:00 Discusses how Muslims in Norway are establishing a masjid (a mosque) and daowa center (a center for educating Muslims about the Islamic faith) to try to re-establish the family unit and reverse the effects of feminism and other social changes in the Muslim community. The brothers and sisters in Islam say their intentions are not to harm or criticize the sisters, but to correct them when they need it. They believe that this video satisfies the criteria for refuting Muslim claims and hope to do so in a constructive way.

00:05:00 critiques the idea that polygamy is a form of spiritual abuse, saying that it is allowed within Islam despite the fact that it can cause pain to the husband. He gives three examples of how this can happen: a woman divorces her husband and then marries his brother, a man sees his wife having sex with another man and decides to take her to the prophet for arbitration, and a woman marries her brother's blood brother after divorcing her first husband.
00:10:00 , the prophet of Islam himself admits to engaging in polygamy, with nine different women. Some of these women may have been discontented at some point, but despite that, it is not seen as spiritually abusive. The tone of the discussion, which is critical of polygamy, is highly problematic, and it is unfair to these sisters who are now trying to manage the trauma of being betrayed.
00:15:00 of the video discusses how polygamy is perceived negatively by many, and goes on to say that even if the mother is frail and old, it is not seen as spiritual abuse or traumatic for her to get married and put her mother in such traumatic experiences.
00:20:00 The religious context of polygamy is discussed in this YouTube video, which is followed by a 1-paragraph summary of a woman's opinion on the matter. The woman argues that polygamy is not a serious issue, and that the woman's position is not considered. She goes on to say that if a woman comes to her with issues related to her husband getting married again, she should leave the meeting. This is because the woman is being given religious advice that is not based on the Quran or Sunnah.
00:25:00 "Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy" discusses how some wives feel after their husbands marry another woman. also discusses how husbands can be polygamous and still be good people.
00:30:00 argues that morality cannot be based on empathy, because it can be innumerate and discriminatory. He also points out that polygamy is not allowed in Islam, and that if a woman talks about polygamy publicly, she is giving other women ammunition against her husband.
00:35:00 Discusses Honest Tea's recent talk on polygamy, in which the company's CEO claimed that there are more polygamous women than polygamous men. 's narrator argues that this is untrue, and that the majority of polygamous women are from the "river community", because they have decided to strip away all the cultural baggage that comes with being Muslim. The narrator also argues that polygamy is not a choice for women, and that they need to be realistic about the implications of entering into a polygamous relationship.
00:40:00 Discusses how men are polygamous by nature and how, when they try to practice polygamy in a healthy way, they are shamed and bullied. He argues that men should not be blamed for wanting to practice polygamy in a way that is compatible with their moral and religious beliefs.
00:45:00 expresses disagreement with the advice given in the video "Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy" that a woman should stay with her polygamous husband even if it means breaking up her existing monogamous marriage. argues that this advice is dangerous and can lead to women being abandoned.
00:50:00 of the video discusses how, according to some sisters, polygamy is a wrong way to practice family life. They go on to say that, if you really care about the Islamic community, you should talk to these sisters and try to come up with a solution that is correct.
00:55:00 complains about the way feminists and gender egoists approach polygamy, and points out that Islam does not condone such a practice. He recommends seeking counseling or religious guidance instead of watching YouTube videos.

01:00:00 [01:00:00

discusses the importance of mosques in the Islamic faith. It talks about how they can be used to spread the message of Islam and how they are important for giving charity and performing shahada. encourages people to generously support mosques and to pray for their benevolence.

01:00:00 Discusses the importance of mosques and how they can be used to spread the message of Islam. It then talks about the importance of giving charity and performing shahada (the Islamic declaration of faith) in a mosque. Finally, it encourages people to generously support mosques and to pray for their benevolence.

Full transcript with timestamps: CLICK TO EXPAND

0:00:00 your brothers and sisters in islam net 0:00:02 from norway are establishing a masjid a 0:00:05 daowa center 0:00:06 this center this masjid this educational 0:00:09 institution will act like a beacon of 0:00:12 light calling the muslims in norway back 0:00:15 to the essence of islam so give 0:00:17 generously and allah 0:00:19 will give you even 0:00:22 [Music]0:00:29 brothers and more and dear friends you 0:00:31 are on the right channel it's hijab 0:00:32 channel not my channel but we've got a 0:00:34 very very 0:00:35 interesting i thought what the hell was 0:00:37 this i mean this is my channel you you 0:00:39 you know you hijack the introduction how 0:00:41 do you when i'm talking don't raise your 0:00:43 hand below this level yeah 0:00:45 try again 0:00:46 i wouldn't want to raise my hand 0:00:47 because you know when i raised my hand 0:00:49 it would land somewhere you know 0:00:51 okay guys so basically we've got a very 0:00:52 interesting video this is a video um 0:00:54 that we're going to react to i think 0:00:55 it's very very beneficial it potentially 0:00:57 the family unit it pertains to divorces 0:00:59 it potentially a lot of stuff that the 0:01:00 um is really going through of the 0:01:02 breakdown of the family unit due to 0:01:03 feminism um and god knows what else so 0:01:06 before we start want to make some 0:01:07 disclaimers 0:01:08 our intentions me and his intentions is 0:01:10 not ill we do not mean to 0:01:12 come here or like put the sisters down 0:01:14 there are sisters you know like they say 0:01:16 you know water is thicker than blood and 0:01:17 iman is thicker than um uh sorry 0:01:21 blood is thicker than water and iman is 0:01:22 thicker than blood so they are our 0:01:23 sisters in islam and we want the best 0:01:25 for them however 0:01:27 there are things that are said whoever 0:01:29 it's from our sister or brother that 0:01:31 needs correcting we have to correct so 0:01:32 we want to do that in a nice manner 0:01:33 inshallah we want to start off by 0:01:35 reacting it's a 34 minute episode before 0:01:38 you do talk 0:01:40 i think that you know like nowadays 0:01:41 we're seeing more kind of like 0:01:44 i would call it the gender wars where 0:01:46 we're kind of living in the age of the 0:01:48 gender wars because the red pill 0:01:49 movement is 0:01:50 its effect on muslim people obviously 0:01:52 feminism is its effect on muslim people 0:01:55 as well 0:01:56 and what i think is very important that 0:01:58 in before starting you know these kinds 0:02:00 of episodes especially coming from the 0:02:02 muslim paradigm 0:02:03 is that we are attempting 0:02:06 to follow the paradigm of islam yeah the 0:02:09 quran the sunnah 0:02:10 the 1400 years worth of uh 0:02:13 tradition 0:02:14 this is if this is the aim 0:02:17 then we need to kind of like make sure 0:02:19 that everything is filtered through that 0:02:21 lens if it's not then clearly there must 0:02:23 be refutation and i do believe that this 0:02:25 video 0:02:26 it uh definitely satisfies the 0:02:29 the threshold of refutation it it does 0:02:31 and we will tell you why it does and 0:02:33 when we do see a refutation at the end 0:02:34 of the day um refutation is part of our 0:02:36 religion 0:02:37 i mean we can be refuted you know if you 0:02:38 know we have something and we have been 0:02:40 refused yeah we'll probably continue to 0:02:41 be refuted we have not as long as it 0:02:42 comes from a sincere place uh i'm not 0:02:44 from opportunistic people that's a 0:02:46 different story um so let's get into 0:02:48 inshallah and you can see for yourself 0:02:49 guys what we have 0:02:51 that concerns not us but the umma at 0:02:53 large the environment around 0:02:56 polygamy and what happens and the 0:02:58 aftermath of it 0:02:59 um 0:03:00 is really uh toxic and judgy 0:03:04 and negative there's a lot of pressure 0:03:06 to react in a certain way there's a lot 0:03:08 of pressure to 0:03:10 uh accept and that being like the it's 0:03:13 like that's the automatic position if 0:03:15 you're a muslim you accept what god 0:03:17 allows so why are you struggling like 0:03:19 what's wrong with you and it's bringing 0:03:21 your faith into question and you're 0:03:23 i hear it over and over i i want i love 0:03:27 allah i love this faith 0:03:30 this is something that allah allowed why 0:03:32 is it breaking me 0:03:35 and and i think that's that's what i 0:03:37 want to talk about today 0:03:40 so women are questioning 0:03:43 themselves questioning their level of 0:03:45 faith because 0:03:47 it is something that is breaking them is 0:03:48 that being the experience that you've 0:03:50 had with people that you've spoken to 0:03:52 and what did i think that it's it's an 0:03:54 opportunity to put a wedge 0:03:57 between a woman and allah if she thinks 0:04:00 that it's being positioned that allah 0:04:03 azzawajal allowed me to do this to you 0:04:06 right so it's like the spiritual abuse 0:04:08 when something's going to happen and 0:04:09 then i say i have this god card that 0:04:11 says that i can do it to you so if you 0:04:13 have a problem with you have a problem 0:04:14 with god right 0:04:16 okay just to be just yeah before the 0:04:18 video starts because we don't want this 0:04:19 to be like you didn't put a beginning 0:04:20 bit in the beginning bit they make it 0:04:22 very categorically clear yeah they do 0:04:23 not have an issue with polygamy itself 0:04:25 it is from allah 0:04:26 but when we watch the video we yet to 0:04:28 see they they said they wanted to touch 0:04:30 upon the way the polygamy is done the 0:04:32 wrong way so we're going to see if they 0:04:34 even touch up on that 0:04:35 just to give that disclaimer they said 0:04:36 that no now going straight to this yep i 0:04:39 think what she said is highly 0:04:40 problematic because she is not giving an 0:04:42 example of where there is 0:04:45 there is a miscarriage of justice from 0:04:47 the islamic paradigm she's just talking 0:04:49 plainly about polygamy 0:04:51 as an institution or as something a form 0:04:53 of marriage that islam allows and then 0:04:56 she says that she uses key words which i 0:04:58 think are quite disturbing 0:05:00 and ones which uh we've seen um being 0:05:03 used in feministic circles 0:05:05 uh and i do believe this is a kind of 0:05:07 micro feminism where she starts by 0:05:09 saying it was all about spiritual abuse 0:05:11 okay spiritual abuse why is god doing 0:05:13 this good the god card 0:05:15 well the truth of the matter is this is 0:05:17 first and foremost there are many things 0:05:19 in the religion of islam in the 0:05:21 relationship context whether symmetrical 0:05:23 or asymmetrical which can cause pain 0:05:27 uh to people okay whether it's 0:05:29 psychological pain or otherwise 0:05:31 uh and which are allowed and which quite 0:05:34 frankly we're not seeing any noise from 0:05:35 individuals that will make videos like 0:05:37 this and i'll give you just one example 0:05:38 to 0:05:39 to to kind of make it clearer okay 0:05:42 take an example of a woman and i'm not 0:05:44 saying caveat this it's asymmetrical 0:05:48 uh that in other words it can't be done 0:05:50 to the other way around or and i'm not 0:05:52 saying also 0:05:53 that uh it's like for like so put these 0:05:56 two caveats to the side 0:05:57 if you take a woman for example that 0:05:59 wants to get married to a man yeah okay 0:06:02 if she wants to get married to a man and 0:06:04 um and let's say for example the man is 0:06:06 from a particular tribe a particular 0:06:07 ethnicity or particular race 0:06:09 and her mother is totally against such 0:06:12 marriage yeah her mother 0:06:14 uh maybe she doesn't like the man maybe 0:06:16 she has even justification from her 0:06:19 perspective not to like the man 0:06:21 she feels like this man is no good for 0:06:22 her daughter 0:06:23 yet the daughter decides to proceed with 0:06:25 the marriage 0:06:27 at the expense of her mother's 0:06:29 well-being let's say even for the sake 0:06:31 of arguing or let's just say at the 0:06:32 expense of our mother's happiness 0:06:33 contentment approval whatever word you 0:06:36 want to use 0:06:38 this actually does happen in society i 0:06:40 think it's more sociologically 0:06:42 potentially more sociologically 0:06:44 widespread than polygyny itself 0:06:48 but despite the fact that this is the 0:06:50 case in this scenario we don't find 0:06:52 any of these sisters or anybody in 0:06:54 general considering this to be morally 0:06:56 aberrational from within islam or 0:06:58 outside of islam 0:06:59 in other words if a woman makes a 0:07:01 decision which has the net effect of 0:07:03 causing some 0:07:05 or a severe level of discomfort anxiety 0:07:07 depression or any other word that you 0:07:09 would like to use it's not seen as 0:07:11 spiritual abuse 0:07:13 it's not seen as spiritual abuse because 0:07:15 islam allows it 0:07:17 despite the mother's 0:07:18 wish 0:07:19 i'll give you another example which is 0:07:21 less sociologically prevalent but still 0:07:22 something which is 0:07:24 if a man sees a white his wife in bed 0:07:27 with another man the quran clearly talks 0:07:29 about a process of lyan which actually 0:07:31 happened with the sahaba it happens it's 0:07:33 been recorded in history which basically 0:07:34 allows the woman to have the last say 0:07:36 and therefore no action to be taken 0:07:38 against a woman at all in other words 0:07:41 there's no retributive justice though he 0:07:43 has just seen his wife let's say 0:07:46 having sex with another man but there is 0:07:47 no retributive justice 0:07:49 islam allows it's no retributive justice 0:07:52 on a material level and islam allows 0:07:54 that 0:07:55 despite the fact that it causes pain to 0:07:57 mend this is still within the 0:07:58 relationship structure in this case 0:07:59 there is asymmetry so let me just get 0:08:01 this right because we really need to 0:08:01 drill this 0:08:03 let me give you one more example but on 0:08:04 this one okay right a man sees his wife 0:08:06 in bed with another man yes having sex 0:08:09 yes he goes to the messenger of allah 0:08:11 sahabah and says he said this 0:08:14 and he's expecting i'm sure the prophet 0:08:15 to yani understand i'm talking about the 0:08:18 quran itself no i know i know but just 0:08:19 so they understand this is that the 0:08:21 prophet peace be upon him says that i'm 0:08:22 going to slash you for slander can you 0:08:24 imagine on top i didn't salt to the moon 0:08:26 and then on top of that what happens is 0:08:28 the ayah comes down saying that they 0:08:29 take four oaths each and the last off 0:08:30 will be that allah's curse be upon them 0:08:32 yeah and this woman actually does that 0:08:34 and she totally 0:08:36 is the the point being how painful would 0:08:38 that be it would be very painful but the 0:08:39 point is it's not spiritual abuse and 0:08:41 the reason why it's not using the god 0:08:43 card or spiritual abuse despite the fact 0:08:44 that it hurts the man 0:08:46 is simply because islam allows it 0:08:50 exactly now i'll give you a third 0:08:51 example right exactly that's the point 0:08:53 the third example and may be 0:08:54 controversial maybe many people didn't 0:08:56 know this but if for example a woman is 0:08:57 married to a man yeah and she divorces 0:09:00 him and then after hide that is complete 0:09:02 she marries his brother blood brother 0:09:04 now that's gonna hurt the man now 0:09:06 obviously the opposite can happen as 0:09:07 well yeah and once again i'm not 0:09:09 claiming it's asymmetrical yeah but what 0:09:11 i'm saying is 0:09:12 despite the fact 0:09:14 that it will hurt the man it doesn't 0:09:15 mean it's morally illegitimate or is it 0:09:18 now it's racial abuse it's a spiritual 0:09:20 abuse yes now it's clearly in the 0:09:22 pretext not even in the subtext of what 0:09:23 these women are saying here 0:09:25 that just basically engaging in this act 0:09:28 itself is a kind of spiritual abuse 0:09:30 exactly this is verging on kufr 0:09:33 i'm very sorry to say to use that kind 0:09:35 of language with an institution that 0:09:37 islam has allowed and she's not talking 0:09:40 about the abuse of it because i've heard 0:09:41 this clip more than once yes they're not 0:09:43 she's talking about the institution 0:09:45 itself yes this is verging on kofir 0:09:48 i'm sorry to say i'm not saying she has 0:09:50 fallen into kofora i'm not saying she's 0:09:52 a catholic just be clear yeah i'm saying 0:09:54 this is virgin on kufur that she is 0:09:56 flirting with disbelief 0:09:59 by speaking of an institution that the 0:10:00 prophet of islam himself yes he engaged 0:10:04 in that he he did it himself polygamy 0:10:06 with nine different women we have clear 0:10:08 evidence 0:10:10 that some of them were discontented at 0:10:11 least at some point let's come to that 0:10:13 but despite that it's not seen using the 0:10:15 god god or spiritual abuse 0:10:17 this tone i believe is 0:10:19 highly problematic it is it is and it's 0:10:21 totally unfair exactly let's carry on so 0:10:24 we can just get full grasp on what's 0:10:25 going on here because i'm still looking 0:10:26 for the problematic practice of polygamy 0:10:28 which they were going to talk about and 0:10:30 i think that's dangerous especially 0:10:32 because we're talking about it not being 0:10:34 executed properly we have the example 0:10:35 the prophet said we know what it's 0:10:37 supposed to look like 0:10:39 so in the cases where it doesn't look 0:10:41 like that and the woman has an aversion 0:10:43 to her or she's struggling or there are 0:10:45 conversations that aren't being had 0:10:47 there's support that's missing 0:10:49 there there are 0:10:51 spaces where she's being shamed and 0:10:53 judged and sometimes ostracized by the 0:10:55 community for taking issue with it 0:10:58 bullied into making a particular 0:10:59 decision or not making a particular 0:11:01 decision 0:11:02 we need to talk about that yes 0:11:04 i think it's really important that we 0:11:07 talk about the fact that these sisters 0:11:10 it when it when it's not executed 0:11:13 properly 0:11:15 that 0:11:16 they are 0:11:17 now 0:11:19 trying to manage 0:11:20 the trauma 0:11:22 of being betrayed of being lied to of 0:11:25 being deceived 0:11:27 they're now having to manage a 0:11:29 completely different dynamic in their 0:11:32 marriage in their family 0:11:34 and then going back to what you said on 0:11:36 top of that to now be shamed 0:11:40 spiritually because there's something 0:11:43 wrong with their faith because they're 0:11:44 not just smiling about it and accepting 0:11:46 it it's layer upon layer upon layer of 0:11:50 trauma 0:11:52 and 0:11:53 like i said like right at the beginning 0:11:56 we're not saying that polygamy is wrong 0:11:58 polygamy is a part so let's just rewind 0:12:00 a bit okay so firstly it's to me it's 0:12:02 turned into a horror movie yeah 0:12:03 absolutely 0:12:04 bullying yes um 0:12:07 betrayal betrayal um what was the other 0:12:10 one she's a spiritual abuse yeah to me 0:12:12 it's just turning into an absolute 0:12:14 horror yeah now i understand you come 0:12:16 and say to me actually is a horror for a 0:12:17 woman no problem nobody said it won't be 0:12:20 we know now she used for example like 0:12:22 how the prophet used to do it okay let's 0:12:24 let's look at how the prophet saws 0:12:26 do you know that ash of the anha was 0:12:28 come with a she made a fruit plate and 0:12:30 the sahaba there imagine the prophet 0:12:32 seeing the companions yeah imagine your 0:12:33 house with your boys you sit with your 0:12:34 boys 0:12:35 and then your wife comes in and you have 0:12:37 a plate of dish unintentionally by your 0:12:39 otherwise 0:12:40 and she smashes the plate in front of 0:12:41 everybody bang 0:12:43 she smashes it 0:12:45 you're talking about how the prophet 0:12:46 done it 0:12:47 does that this is the best these are our 0:12:49 mothers the best of women to work walk 0:12:50 this earth one of them yeah 0:12:52 she's behaving like this 0:12:54 this cons this this four process of 0:12:56 thinking that polygamy is going to be 0:12:59 something that's going to be 0:13:01 like hunky dory rosie it's not the case 0:13:03 these things can happen it shows you 0:13:05 that if a man gets into this these 0:13:06 things can happen as long as the woman 0:13:08 is not transgressing the point is this i 0:13:10 want to ask a very simple question 0:13:12 what is because this is again given a 0:13:14 disclaimer against one against polygamy 0:13:15 you turned into a horror movie how could 0:13:16 you not be against it oh all these 0:13:19 words of like you know big words you 0:13:20 know bullying et cetera et cetera look 0:13:23 what you've turned it into if a sister 0:13:25 her husband was getting into polygamy 0:13:26 she'll watch this you will destroy your 0:13:27 house 0:13:28 you would be responsible destroying the 0:13:29 house because let me tell you something 0:13:32 people can easily get manipulated okay 0:13:33 especially the size that you're living 0:13:34 in if i have if for example somebody 0:13:36 suffers from a trauma for example okay 0:13:38 this was a mother lost a child and she 0:13:40 goes to another a household to get some 0:13:42 you know for them to you know consola 0:13:44 and you know and imagine they added to a 0:13:45 burden and i said oh your child's going 0:13:47 to be in hell fire or your child have 0:13:49 you aided that or have you ate it um 0:13:51 made it easy have you two burgers or 0:13:52 added burgers exactly i think and that's 0:13:54 exactly what you're doing and the point 0:13:56 is this let me ask you a simple question 0:13:58 as men i'll make it very clear i've said 0:14:00 this public answer again okay every man 0:14:01 is polygamous any man that says it's not 0:14:02 politicians 0:14:04 so to think that this sisters have this 0:14:07 envision 0:14:08 in their mind they think that there is 0:14:09 one guy out there every person practices 0:14:12 polygamy or is polygamous within their 0:14:14 nature muslim unknown muslim i wanna ask 0:14:16 a simple question please tell us because 0:14:19 i need to come and say okay tell us the 0:14:20 correct way to do it 0:14:22 and if you can tell us a correct way to 0:14:23 do and if we do it would he be happy 0:14:25 no 0:14:26 so then what is the discussion at hand 0:14:28 no it's a good it's a good question and 0:14:29 in fact the quran makes it clear 0:14:36 the quran says you're not gonna be able 0:14:37 to do justice between your wives 0:14:38 anything if you try but it doesn't say 0:14:40 therefore this is stop doing your 0:14:41 spiritual abuse exactly therefore stop 0:14:44 using the god card 0:14:45 and therefore it says 0:14:48 don't decline so much so you leave the 0:14:49 other one hanging he's giving you 0:14:51 practical advice pragmatic it's i'm 0:14:54 afraid to say that this conversation 0:14:56 here as you correctly said you've 0:14:57 identified it and characterized it 0:14:58 correctly these women here are actually 0:15:00 characterizing an institution with the 0:15:03 most 0:15:04 negative superlatives 0:15:06 uh most negative adjectives 0:15:08 with with most horrible of context 0:15:11 i'm afraid to say that this is 0:15:12 anti-resilience like if if you want to 0:15:14 get someone tougher and stronger in life 0:15:16 you don't 0:15:17 do so by 0:15:18 if polygamy is a difficult thing for 0:15:20 women to do let's be of course 0:15:22 you said it yourself for example what 0:15:24 you correctly said is that when you know 0:15:26 an eyeshadow 0:15:27 she broke that plate and now we actually 0:15:29 comment about this in his yeah 0:15:31 yeah he says that this is 0:15:35 something something similar to that he's 0:15:37 saying this is from something that she 0:15:39 done which is involuntary actions and 0:15:41 she's not held to account for it in fact 0:15:43 yeah there you go islam is a religion of 0:15:46 mercy okay but having said all of that 0:15:49 to be honest if you collate all of the 0:15:51 examples of where there has been 0:15:52 transgressions like this or there have 0:15:54 been mishaps or whatever from the 0:15:56 mothers of the believers 0:15:57 of the thousands no but of the thousands 0:15:59 you will find a dozen maximums yes yeah 0:16:02 what what we're dealing with here is a 0:16:03 situation where 0:16:05 individuals find it okay 0:16:07 to actually hold their husbands judge 0:16:10 jury and executioner as hostage to some 0:16:12 kind of injustice that perceived 0:16:14 injustice they think they're doing to 0:16:15 them there is nothing inherently unjust 0:16:18 about being in a politician situation 0:16:20 yes there is as much inherently unjust 0:16:23 in being in a political situation as 0:16:25 there is of marrying a man who your 0:16:27 mother doesn't want you to marry yes 0:16:29 even though she's upset yeah if you are 0:16:31 unhappy at the fact that your husband 0:16:33 did something to hurt you you should 0:16:34 also be unhappy with the millions of 0:16:36 women out there in the muslim world who 0:16:38 in some cases their mother some cases 0:16:39 their father because as we know some 0:16:41 madhhab don't even need the weli yeah 0:16:43 right like the hanafi methamphetamine 0:16:44 yeah in order for the nikkei 0:16:46 and other mathematics will remove the 0:16:48 wellie if he's being unreasonable so 0:16:50 it's conceivable that the father doesn't 0:16:52 even get a say or is removed from the is 0:16:54 removed from the equation when it comes 0:16:56 to marriage and he is very unhappy 0:16:58 but 0:16:59 a woman's right is spoken about them 0:17:01 it's not a woman's responsibility 0:17:02 exactly it's a woman's privilege and her 0:17:04 independence it's not spiritual abuse 0:17:06 here exactly you see even if the mother 0:17:08 is frail and old and a woman herself 0:17:10 it's not seen as spiritual abuse or 0:17:12 traumatic and how can you as a woman get 0:17:15 married and put your mother in such 0:17:16 traumatic experiences this is the kind 0:17:18 of consistency that is required if what 0:17:20 we're saying here is to moralize 0:17:22 something okay is to look at the 0:17:26 detriments that it causes someone 0:17:27 psychologically at the expense of 0:17:28 someone else yes 0:17:30 it seems to be that number one they 0:17:31 don't really have their morality in 0:17:33 their moral theories encompass and order 0:17:35 number one number two sorry sorry to say 0:17:37 this but it does seem to be an incred 0:17:41 issue a submission issue and this islam 0:17:43 issue 0:17:44 it's an issue of submission and iman yes 0:17:47 if you truly believe in allah subhanahu 0:17:49 wa and you believe in his uh rulings i'm 0:17:52 sorry to say and you and you have full 0:17:54 faith in that and you did what allah 0:17:55 said when he said 0:17:57 come into islam altogether okay good you 0:17:59 cannot describe the situation okay of 0:18:03 living in a marriage which potentially 0:18:04 you'll be getting all your rights as a 0:18:06 first wife yes in such traumatic fashion 0:18:08 yes 0:18:10 polygamy is the most beautiful thing 0:18:12 that has been stipulated by allah 0:18:14 because it lays down protocols how to 0:18:16 protect the look this this one i found 0:18:18 crazy as sisters our dear sisters you 0:18:21 guys are our sisters well like we're 0:18:22 seeing this because we love you guys for 0:18:24 the sake of allah we're just trying to 0:18:26 make you understand something okay if 0:18:28 you are if you want woman empowerment 0:18:30 and you care about your core sisters 0:18:31 polygamy has been sent as a protocol to 0:18:35 help defend the rights of the second 0:18:36 third and fourth wife who in non-muslim 0:18:39 terms or even 0:18:40 muslims men who practice in wrong way 0:18:42 who have side chicks mysteries and 0:18:43 girlfriends allah stipulated that if the 0:18:45 man wants to go and do that he does it 0:18:47 in the right way by honoring her 0:18:48 speaking to a father doing the marriage 0:18:50 giving him announcing the marriage not 0:18:52 hidden you should be at the forefront 0:18:55 forefront of defending this because as a 0:18:57 non-muslim woman a man if he was 0:18:59 watching this i'll say this is a horror 0:19:00 movie this is this horror this polygamy 0:19:03 this is this i would have been shaytan 0:19:05 i would say this is this anthony yes 0:19:06 this is and actually not why it'd be 0:19:08 spiritual abuse on the person that's 0:19:09 watching it yes because they might want 0:19:10 to come to the summit they'll think you 0:19:11 know what they'll say you know what this 0:19:12 is 0:19:13 you spiritually um 0:19:15 um bankrupted me i'm finished no no no 0:19:17 no let's be honest let's go let's carry 0:19:18 on let's carry on 0:19:20 liking this and responding and fitting 0:19:23 into what you need to fit into or else 0:19:24 there's something wrong with you and i 0:19:26 think on the 0:19:27 you know for a woman who identifies as 0:19:29 practicing and religious 0:19:30 okay some people are in a position where 0:19:32 they don't want to talk to a mental 0:19:33 health professional they don't want so 0:19:35 let's look for answers in the dean 0:19:37 because this is something that the 0:19:38 religion brought so i need to find 0:19:40 answers there and when you start to 0:19:42 search and see if you look up polygamy 0:19:45 in arabic and in english and you want to 0:19:47 see what the scholarship have to say 0:19:49 about it the 0:19:50 attitude is less than helpful there is a 0:19:53 little big bit of giggle culture yeah 0:19:55 the women get jealous 0:19:57 and it's not being taken seriously and 0:19:59 you realize that okay there is no one in 0:20:02 the religious context who has my back on 0:20:04 this in fact the way that they're 0:20:06 talking about it it's very uh surface 0:20:08 level and it stops at the this is 0:20:10 actually allowed in the religion 0:20:12 and of course you know the men have to 0:20:14 be just and of course 0:20:16 but we're not talking about it seriously 0:20:18 there's no nuance there is no 0:20:20 um 0:20:21 there is no consideration for the 0:20:23 woman's position besides you know sister 0:20:25 you have to be patient because 0:20:27 if a woman stepped out on her marriage 0:20:31 the vicious poisonous let's throw her 0:20:35 out and get up 0:20:37 he could spit on camera you know but in 0:20:40 a man's position as long as we get a 0:20:41 paper from the mosque and we cover it up 0:20:43 i think what she said in the beginning 0:20:45 there was extremely dangerous and she 0:20:46 says that if you do i'm paraphrasing but 0:20:49 if you're doing a search in english or 0:20:50 in arabic you'll find that there's no 0:20:52 it's not helpful and that there's a 0:20:53 google culture and all these kind of 0:20:55 things 0:20:56 giving us the impression that she's 0:20:57 already done this 0:20:58 this this work and that she's she's 0:21:01 looked at all of the resources that in 0:21:02 english that are available and all the 0:21:04 resources that are in arabic in the 0:21:05 islamic tradition because if we talk 0:21:07 about scholarship we're not talking 0:21:08 about the last 20 or 30 years we are 0:21:10 talking about the last thousand four 0:21:12 hundred years 0:21:13 and by the way that would include 0:21:15 isha and the mothers of the believers 0:21:16 that would include the female scholars 0:21:18 which she has uh 0:21:20 forgotten about quite frankly in her in 0:21:22 her tirade yeah but what i'm saying here 0:21:24 is 0:21:25 to put people away from the religious 0:21:27 discourse in favor of something else if 0:21:30 not deviance then what is it now this is 0:21:32 this very dangerous because the thing is 0:21:33 what's being told is here is this um 0:21:36 islamically 0:21:37 we're bankrupt there's nothing to offer 0:21:39 here exactly and then she talks about uh 0:21:42 what she mentioned in the beginning 0:21:43 about uh coaching they should say or 0:21:44 something like therapy or something 0:21:46 along those lines i mean would you want 0:21:47 to do go to the go to the non-muslims i 0:21:49 mean yes you can there's nothing wrong 0:21:50 with that if you want certain issues 0:21:52 but what you've done is you've emptied 0:21:54 like as if islam has nothing to offer in 0:21:55 this matter exactly and it's finished 0:22:04 now we're going to have to go to um 0:22:06 these therapies whoever they are god 0:22:08 knows 0:22:08 one of them told me a story that sister 0:22:10 was going through something she went to 0:22:11 this therapist it's not muslim therapist 0:22:12 and you know they said to her explore 0:22:13 sexuality go sleep around yeah let's go 0:22:16 to these people they're going to come to 0:22:17 individuals 0:22:19 let's suppose your husband is going 0:22:20 through it's getting married a second 0:22:22 wife you go to a therapist and you say 0:22:24 to the therapist my husband got married 0:22:25 again what do you think he's going to 0:22:26 say uh it's going to give you ways of 0:22:28 dealing with it 0:22:29 no she's going they're going to give you 0:22:30 deal ways of destroying it yeah let's be 0:22:33 honest yeah as a muslim woman if you are 0:22:35 so i'll be honest with you i see in your 0:22:36 eyes i see anki in your eyes like my 0:22:39 sister i said if you're dealing with her 0:22:40 it can be the case you have a neutral 0:22:42 therapist that won't get involved in 0:22:43 morality no problem but no you're right 0:22:45 the point stands which is that she is 0:22:48 clearly pushing people away from the 0:22:50 religious discourse no of course not she 0:22:52 is offering them she's saying that this 0:22:53 does not have 0:22:55 the resources for your psychological 0:22:56 condition which is which is which is 0:22:57 dangerous the thing is bro if she is 0:22:59 more it's more like these are free these 0:23:00 are three sisters who are observing 0:23:01 hijab they are believing women who feel 0:23:03 like 0:23:04 we have to believe they feel allah if 0:23:06 they are coming and saying this 0:23:08 what am i going to expect from a 0:23:10 non-muslim woman if the believing woman 0:23:12 are coming and giving our sisters this 0:23:13 advice i'm so sorry i'm not saying they 0:23:15 intentionally have a malicious intent i 0:23:17 do not mean that but if you guys can be 0:23:19 so it's an emotional statement i'm i've 0:23:21 not one quran sunnah i've heard 0:23:22 emotional statements and if you're 0:23:23 actually they don't mention the quran at 0:23:25 all exactly okay okay 0:23:27 okay if that's the case if you guys are 0:23:28 mentioning this as sisters imagine a 0:23:30 cool sister coming to you guys and 0:23:32 thinking hijabi muslim believe it what 0:23:34 advice is going to give me my husband 0:23:35 got a second wife i swear to god that 0:23:36 woman leave the meeting a black mate and 0:23:38 her husband probably using the kids 0:23:40 against her 0:23:41 him he'll do all 0:23:43 kinds of stuff why because she will say 0:23:44 like they said because you've done this 0:23:47 to me and spiritual abuse and bullying 0:23:49 exactly they're going to leave that 0:23:51 meeting yes yes this is devastated the 0:23:53 thing is the issue is it's very gets 0:23:55 worse when she starts saying that the 0:23:57 the scholars or whoever is religious 0:23:58 clergymen they say 0:24:00 um you know let's be patient and and she 0:24:03 says that's only yes 0:24:05 patience is one of the deepest one 0:24:08 patience is one of the most deep and 0:24:10 important 0:24:11 uh parts of islam yeah aspects of the 0:24:14 religion of islam so what i'm saying is 0:24:16 that if if someone is giving you 0:24:18 the advice yeah which allah gives you in 0:24:21 the quran yes which is 0:24:26 literally 0:24:28 exalt one another to patients and you're 0:24:29 ridiculing them and 0:24:31 you're ridiculing them on the basis that 0:24:34 they are doing exactly what the quran 0:24:35 tells them to do by the word and so do 0:24:39 you think you're following the quran or 0:24:41 your own desires 0:24:43 in the quran 0:24:48 when allah says something verily with 0:24:51 hardship comes ease 0:24:53 indeed with hardship comes ease 0:24:57 if a sister comes to me and says my 0:24:58 husband got 0:25:00 married again i'll ask some basic 0:25:02 questions sister does he pray yes does 0:25:03 he practice good is he holistically 0:25:05 whole in total he's a good guy yes does 0:25:07 he provide does he all this comes up 0:25:08 he's able to 0:25:09 stay with him sister 0:25:12 you go these sisters they listen to 0:25:13 their friends these friends okay 0:25:15 well he did that to you 0:25:18 please shut up shut up yeah don't act 0:25:20 like your husband's not polygamous don't 0:25:21 act like your husband is not doing it in 0:25:23 either we hope you do this 0:25:25 yeah stop acting like your husband every 0:25:27 man is polygamous you're going to 0:25:28 destroy that house sister you're going 0:25:30 to believe it and destroy your house and 0:25:31 guess what those friends are not going 0:25:33 to be there for you i promise you the 0:25:35 reason i'm seeing is this you get in a 0:25:37 hype and you believe these sisters et 0:25:38 cetera now you they can say something 0:25:39 very easy no no you're right 0:25:49 okay what does allah say that we as men 0:25:50 have to do where the maintainers and the 0:25:51 protectors no problem that means when 0:25:53 the thief comes to the house brother do 0:25:54 i send my wife am 0:26:09 i do not like i tell her she loves being 0:26:11 a mother it's the best thing while i see 0:26:13 happiness in that in her eyes when she's 0:26:14 with our kids here the point is this bro 0:26:17 on top of this when a war happens what's 0:26:19 up in ukraine 0:26:20 yeah what's happening but even the 0:26:22 transgender women are being stopped yeah 0:26:24 no no you're a man now you're a man now 0:26:26 yeah 0:26:26 i'm gonna ask him a question bro if we 0:26:28 are called let's see if for what happens 0:26:30 argument's sake let's see yeah and we 0:26:31 and we we attend do you love going to 0:26:33 war 0:26:35 me personally yeah i'm asking you 0:26:40 do you look forward to going and saying 0:26:41 my lim might come off no no actually you 0:26:43 know what i might not come home actually 0:26:45 actually forget the arm get in i'm with 0:26:47 you early okay imagine you don't even 0:26:49 come home at all and you're imagine the 0:26:50 thought for every man we have 0:26:52 imagine your wife might go like if i 0:26:54 pass away yeah my wife's gonna go marry 0:26:56 someone else which ones which one's 0:26:58 worse you have a husband that has 0:26:59 another wife but he's still in your life 0:27:00 and your kid's life but compared to what 0:27:01 we're going to go through when we go to 0:27:03 war the the chance of being killed 0:27:05 number two not returning home can i come 0:27:07 and say oh but this is not fair man this 0:27:09 is spiritual abuse man my wife would be 0:27:12 the first one to say get out there and 0:27:13 defend yesterday that's true 0:27:15 am i gonna complain we accept what allah 0:27:17 has legislated for us which is much 0:27:19 harder i'll be honest with them because 0:27:20 we're going to die 0:27:22 in some instances 0:27:23 then how can you come here and use these 0:27:25 kind of words i think what you said in 0:27:27 this uh you're getting very emotional no 0:27:30 i would like 0:27:31 you know why bro it hurts me to see the 0:27:33 breakdown of the family unit i get that 0:27:35 but what i will say is this bro is like 0:27:37 honestly yeah one thing you did say 0:27:39 which is i think completely true yeah 0:27:41 is that individuals like sister samaya 0:27:44 here yeah yeah she will give advice to 0:27:47 other sisters 0:27:49 as she would in the end of this episode 0:27:50 we'll see that you know sometimes the 0:27:52 individual is more important than the 0:27:53 whole life because the individual she'll 0:27:54 say in her own articulation but 0:27:56 basically in directing the device for 0:27:58 divorce and we've already dealt with 0:28:00 this in previous episodes she does this 0:28:01 quite often she seems like it's her 0:28:03 favorite type of advice it's dangerous 0:28:05 but then she is not going to be there 0:28:07 monetarily or otherwise for the sister 0:28:09 that is going to be stuck with 0:28:12 i don't know how many children even if 0:28:13 she's alone 0:28:14 without and she's not going to be there 0:28:15 to to 0:28:16 to assist to help sorry to say to 0:28:19 physically uh assist to sexually satisfy 0:28:22 you don't have the facility to deal with 0:28:24 all of that to psychologically be a 0:28:25 companion for that individual 0:28:27 and you don't even want or have told 0:28:30 your people that are listening to this 0:28:32 yes who are very impressionable and 0:28:34 probably going through a very difficult 0:28:35 situation yeah you haven't even told 0:28:37 them you haven't gone as far as to even 0:28:39 tell them that in fact they're in for a 0:28:41 long period of grieving and 0:28:43 heartbreaking exactly why don't you tell 0:28:44 them about the fact that if you leave 0:28:46 and if you try and break your home not 0:28:48 only will you be grieving your children 0:28:50 will be grieving there will be 0:28:51 heartbreak everywhere look at the 0:28:52 studies on single parent homes yeah yeah 0:28:54 we're not blaming the mother what we're 0:28:55 seeing is the supermother homes bro 0:28:58 it destroys the family unit 0:29:00 especially the children how could 0:29:02 someone be so self selfish and look i 0:29:05 don't know if this sisters have gone 0:29:06 through personally themselves but if 0:29:08 they if they have what they haven't if 0:29:09 they have bro it is dangerous for you to 0:29:12 use something which you may have 0:29:13 disliked let's suppose arguments that 0:29:14 happened the wrong way he did it the 0:29:15 wrong way then you to come and use that 0:29:17 bitterness to take out on the whole 0:29:19 ummah because now what you're doing is 0:29:21 you're giving advice to these sisters 0:29:23 based on something that you live through 0:29:24 which was let's say done the wrong way 0:29:25 okay let's suppose that polygamy that 0:29:27 your husband done was the wrong way and 0:29:28 now you're out bitter hurt and you are 0:29:31 channeled in that energy in such a way 0:29:33 that it is destroying the family unit 0:29:34 the household it's irresponsible 0:29:37 behavior absolutely let's see what else 0:29:39 they are saying 0:29:41 again i am hearing from sisters 0:29:45 who come crying 0:29:48 and distraught distressed on the floor 0:29:53 my husband has married behind my back 0:29:57 my husband 0:29:58 is you know has told me that he wants to 0:30:00 get married and i just i don't you know 0:30:01 what gets me though 0:30:04 what is a man 0:30:06 ex who does that expecting 0:30:09 i think he's you know what he's 0:30:10 expecting 0:30:11 this is my honest opinion and this is 0:30:13 just my opinion when you know we're not 0:30:15 sheikh is here we're not saying you know 0:30:16 this is which is just a discussion 0:30:18 i believe a lot of men who go and do it 0:30:21 in that way in the wrong way and there 0:30:23 are going to be people they're going to 0:30:24 be people that are going to be saying 0:30:25 but you know what 0:30:27 so and so and islamically you don't have 0:30:28 to tell your wife but anyway that's a 0:30:29 side point 0:30:31 let's talk morally 0:30:33 you love someone you would 0:30:35 you see what she's done here 0:30:37 it was it was a it was a very 0:30:39 subtle subtle thing very nuanced thing 0:30:41 but i think we both 0:30:43 saw what happened here yes yes 0:30:45 said something but morally yeah so 0:30:47 basically what the shaykh saying immoral 0:30:50 and the moral thing to do is this no the 0:30:52 issue is deep because are we saying that 0:30:54 morality is to be found outside of the 0:30:57 the fatwa framework yes are we saying 0:30:59 now morality is to be found outside of 0:31:00 the religious framework 0:31:02 yes and and you know how she just 0:31:04 defined it she said that you if you love 0:31:06 your wife xyz yeah no but that's not how 0:31:08 we define our morality 0:31:10 in other words we don't we don't decide 0:31:12 what is right and wrong based on the 0:31:14 empathetic love that we have for someone 0:31:16 in fact someone called paul bloom wrote 0:31:17 a book called against empathy 0:31:19 and in that book he actually makes a 0:31:21 very strong argument against using 0:31:24 empathy as a means of moralizing certain 0:31:27 morality for example he says if i'll 0:31:29 give you an example he doesn't use this 0:31:31 but you know i'll use it there was this 0:31:33 girl young girl that got lost 0:31:35 her name is 0:31:36 madeline yeah madeline yeah yeah 0:31:39 madeline got lost she was a white girl 0:31:41 obviously it's a tragic situation yeah 0:31:43 but the fact that she was on the 0:31:45 newspapers and that she was on the front 0:31:47 headlines all kind of things yeah it 0:31:49 made us empathize with her yep but the 0:31:51 fact of the matter is that girls are 0:31:53 being human trafficked they are being 0:31:55 sold into slavery and they're 0:31:57 on on a monthly basis from all kinds of 0:31:59 ethnic backgrounds not just white 0:32:00 caucasian girls 0:32:02 the truth of the matter is this yeah is 0:32:04 that we have a disproportionate 0:32:07 consideration for madeleine because we 0:32:10 have been exposed to her story yes we 0:32:12 haven't been exposed to all these other 0:32:13 stories exactly in other words we've 0:32:15 been made to empathize with her 0:32:17 paul bloom therefore he makes the 0:32:18 argument that if we were to use empathy 0:32:21 as a means to try and moralize or 0:32:23 generalize moralities 0:32:25 then it will be innumerate it will be 0:32:27 discriminatory 0:32:28 and it will be problematic for the 0:32:30 reasons aforementioned so when women 0:32:33 sorry to say men and women it's not just 0:32:35 a woman thing but women like this for 0:32:36 example who are talking about polygamy 0:32:38 and sharing their anecdotal experiences 0:32:40 and quote-unquote traumas 0:32:42 yes when they are talking about these 0:32:44 matters 0:32:45 and then they are forcing an empathetic 0:32:47 response or they are let's say 0:32:49 generating an empathetic response from 0:32:51 other women 0:32:52 what becomes blurred are the moral 0:32:55 guidelines 0:32:56 morality becomes described described and 0:32:59 defined 0:33:00 as per 0:33:02 the emotional feelings of that 0:33:03 individual how could he make you feel 0:33:05 like that how can this someone who truly 0:33:07 loves you do something which hurts you 0:33:09 like that morality becomes defined 0:33:12 uh in the way that she's just detailed 0:33:14 if if you love someone in conditional 0:33:16 terms if you love someone why would you 0:33:18 do such a thing to hurt them well but 0:33:21 and because doing so according to her 0:33:23 would be immoral 0:33:24 but that formulation of morality number 0:33:26 one is unsubstantiated in the academic 0:33:28 literature 0:33:29 number two is actually refuted in the 0:33:30 academic literature 0:33:32 as mentioned in the in the book against 0:33:34 empathy is interesting 0:33:36 and thirdly it's totally on islamic from 0:33:37 an islamic no we don't need to look so 0:33:39 so what no i'm just i'm just saying that 0:33:41 all i'm saying here 0:33:43 is that if you're saying we have a 0:33:44 paradigm which is a paradigm is the 0:33:46 paradigm of morality and then you have 0:33:49 the paradigm of fatwa or what this 0:33:50 shaykh 0:33:53 why are you exploring a paradigm outside 0:33:55 of the paradigm of islam if indeed you 0:33:58 truly believe the paradigm of islam 0:34:00 and the quran actually makes mention of 0:34:02 this 0:34:06 have they have they been given 0:34:08 permission which allah has not given 0:34:10 them permission for have they have they 0:34:11 created legislation which allah has not 0:34:13 given them permission for 0:34:14 so this is legislation that is coming 0:34:16 outside of the islamic paradigm yeah 0:34:19 this is the this is the torah this is 0:34:20 the danger 0:34:22 yeah this is the danger of speaking 0:34:23 without knowledge as they are this is 0:34:25 the danger of using emotional judgment 0:34:27 this is the danger of speaking on camera 0:34:29 on issues that can break households 0:34:31 and allow children who quite frankly 0:34:35 women like this with all selfishness 0:34:37 egoism i i don't think are very 0:34:38 concerned about the children they 0:34:40 mentioned them in the end very passingly 0:34:42 but putting children in a situation of 0:34:45 disadvantage sociological disadvantage 0:34:48 because you're not encouraging women to 0:34:50 be resilient on a thing that allah 0:34:51 allowed and the prophet practiced 0:34:53 instead you're giving them all 0:34:55 ammunition yes with the most for with 0:34:58 the most dangerous of wording lethal 0:35:00 ammunition 0:35:05 yes absolutely no doubt about it in fact 0:35:07 there are more in my opinion 0:35:11 and allah is my witness yeah to 0:35:12 conservative or traditional women these 0:35:14 women here are more dangerous than any 0:35:17 feminist you know why you know why 0:35:18 because they creep in no you know why 0:35:20 you know what because when a muslim 0:35:21 woman is watching a non-muslim yes 0:35:23 they'll say 0:35:24 this they're not muslim they don't 0:35:25 understand how islam works etcetera yes 0:35:27 when they're watching a group of our 0:35:28 sisters who are in hijab who are using 0:35:30 some islamic terminologies they are more 0:35:32 people to take it absolutely and that is 0:35:34 what danger is and let's not look far 0:35:35 broke when we were talking about empathy 0:35:36 and stuff like that yeah absolutely 0:35:37 didn't companions have to fight their 0:35:39 own family members who are blood who 0:35:41 they loved allah 0:35:58 and he said oh no that your family is 0:36:00 who the believers yeah not you not blood 0:36:04 don't think your blood son he loved this 0:36:06 son he was upset he was crying that like 0:36:07 the fact that he was drowned but allah 0:36:09 had to remind him to take the knuckle 0:36:12 over the akal because if he goes what 0:36:13 does that say i love him well the person 0:36:16 sahaba had to fight in a battle the 0:36:18 people that they loved 0:36:20 [Music]0:36:21 and yeah and this is a common occurrence 0:36:23 and quite frankly people that convert to 0:36:25 islam like yourself you have to deal 0:36:26 with 0:36:27 people like yourself on a daily basis 0:36:29 have to deal with unruly unruly yeah and 0:36:32 cantankerous yes rambunctious yes 0:36:35 individuals who make their life hell yes 0:36:37 okay yes and it's but 0:36:40 which is why quite frankly we'll find a 0:36:42 lot of people who do practice polygamy 0:36:43 are people from the river community 0:36:45 because they have they have decided to 0:36:46 strip away all the cultural baggage 0:36:48 exactly they have decided not to listen 0:36:50 i'm so sorry yeah i see more river 0:36:52 sisters while he goes through more 0:36:54 humble when it comes to this thing 0:36:56 okay and i don't know anyways i want to 0:36:58 get into it man just let's just let's 0:36:59 just see what else they have to say and 0:37:00 maybe the answer won't be clear 0:37:02 immediately and you need time yes you 0:37:04 want to try it out you want to see how 0:37:06 it goes you need the flexibility you 0:37:07 need time to make to make your decision 0:37:10 i think the second thing is talking to 0:37:12 the women see how she she addresses 0:37:15 women in a way that as if they can just 0:37:16 throw talk on the man what do you mean 0:37:18 make your decision 0:37:19 yeah if you what your only decision you 0:37:21 have to make is to ask your husband 0:37:24 or go to a sharia council and follow the 0:37:26 procedure you're not you do not have the 0:37:28 same rights as a man she's the 0:37:30 assumption of equality is almost clear 0:37:32 in her subtext what do you mean make 0:37:34 your decision it's not you cannot wake 0:37:35 up in the morning and make a decision it 0:37:36 doesn't work like that there are many 0:37:38 things at play and there are many 0:37:40 stakeholders that play yeah i i feel 0:37:42 like what she's doing here she's 0:37:43 removing all the islamic apparatus and 0:37:45 she's trying to create a system of 0:37:47 equality even if it wasn't an english 0:37:49 law she would have to go to the 0:37:50 possibilities and should have to file 0:37:52 for certain things this should have to 0:37:53 negotiate certain uh matters 0:37:56 is is this a false illusion that she can 0:37:58 do it 0:37:58 she means the choice of going 0:38:00 it's about this 0:38:02 you can just like you said make a choice 0:38:04 to enter to say you know what i'm down 0:38:06 with this i'm cool with it i want to 0:38:07 come into the picture of a family 0:38:09 already and enter 0:38:13 you need to be educating yourself about 0:38:14 what that's going to entail you need to 0:38:16 be realistic about what that's gonna 0:38:18 mean 0:38:19 you need to be honest about what you're 0:38:21 actually looking for and what you're 0:38:22 actually expecting i don't think the old 0:38:24 bait and switch is just gonna cause 0:38:26 trouble i'm i'm cool to renounce my 0:38:29 rights i don't need financial support 0:38:31 i'm gonna be easy i'm not gonna disrupt 0:38:33 anything i just need you know 0:38:35 but are you being honest about what 0:38:37 that's what that's gonna mean and you're 0:38:39 cool with it 0:38:41 first wife is being bullied and i've 0:38:43 heard this multiple times in particular 0:38:45 cultures it's more emphasized than 0:38:46 others 0:38:48 you can't tell your family i did this 0:38:50 you not only have to handle the pain but 0:38:52 you have to keep it a secret 0:38:54 if you tell your parents that i did this 0:38:56 we know it's going to kick off 0:38:58 okay so what's the problem with that 0:38:59 okay 0:39:00 all right let me get this right okay 0:39:01 look let's make it very simple and clear 0:39:03 okay i i want i want you know what i 0:39:05 want from our sister's honest detail 0:39:06 okay please can you do an episode yeah 0:39:08 and in that episode please can you tell 0:39:10 us brothers what like we want to know i 0:39:11 want to know please tell us the right 0:39:12 way to do i'm going to do the right way 0:39:14 yeah not what i'm saying i'm intending 0:39:15 on doing it but what i'm saying is that 0:39:17 please tell us man what is the right way 0:39:19 to go about it without all the drama of 0:39:22 our wife and her telling not telling 0:39:23 their parents 0:39:24 just go away from all of that please can 0:39:26 you tell us how you sisters or the 0:39:27 females will be happy for us to practice 0:39:29 polygamy in the correct manner 0:39:32 please tell us i bet you you will not be 0:39:34 doing the episode because you do not 0:39:35 believe there is a correct way the best 0:39:37 way of polygamy for you guys is no 0:39:39 polygamy that's what it is best better 0:39:40 bespirigami no polygamy that's the issue 0:39:42 here um and what did she say 0:39:45 she said about um being bullied okay 0:39:47 look bro this is the hypocrisy that i 0:39:48 see i'm so sorry yes 0:39:50 let me tell you something here let's go 0:39:51 to a brother yeah get the brother and go 0:39:52 to his in-laws and say what kind of 0:39:53 brother is realizing yes he's good to my 0:39:55 daughter he provides he's very good he 0:39:57 helps us okay good good go and ask the 0:40:00 same family and say you know what you 0:40:01 know your son-in-law yeah he got a 0:40:02 second wife i've never seen any good in 0:40:04 him 0:40:05 what happened two seconds brother a 0:40:06 minute ago he was the best guy because 0:40:08 of polygamy bro wallahi wallahi this is 0:40:11 why the prophet peace be upon him peace 0:40:12 be upon him said glad tidings to the 0:40:14 strangers 0:40:15 they have become strangers aki for them 0:40:17 to practice something which is from the 0:40:20 sunnah and i'm talking about brothers 0:40:21 who are good to their wives who are just 0:40:23 to their wives who provide for their 0:40:25 wives i'm talking about these men i'm 0:40:27 not talking about these guys who do not 0:40:28 pray don't practice they cheat they do 0:40:30 i'm not talking about them these kind of 0:40:31 men who are practicing are being shunned 0:40:34 they are being made they've been 0:40:35 ostracized to make that you're making 0:40:37 them feel and then on top of that of 0:40:39 course he's going to come and tell you 0:40:40 not to tell your family because your 0:40:42 family see this as something ugly as 0:40:43 something evil and guess what you're 0:40:45 probably you're you're your own um dad 0:40:48 practices plugging me yes 0:40:52 yes yes he practices it but when his 0:40:54 son-in-law does it that's why i didn't 0:40:55 interview one brother he said would you 0:40:56 want that for your daughter i said how 0:40:58 can i stand in front of allah and say i 0:40:59 want it i i'm i'm a 0:41:02 every man is politicized by the nature 0:41:03 yeah how can i come and say um i might 0:41:06 do it but for my daughter 0:41:11 like the prophet peace be upon him said 0:41:13 if fatima was to steal our command we 0:41:15 don't work with hypocrisy one 0:41:17 one rule for me another rule for my 0:41:19 daughter no no no no if my daughter is 0:41:22 happy she's she she's happy with it i'll 0:41:24 tell her here's the pros and cons etc 0:41:27 i've done it i will not come and say 0:41:29 he's a bad guy he's an evil guy this is 0:41:31 something from the dean how are you 0:41:32 making it something horror evil bullying 0:41:35 spiritual abuse betrayal lie 0:41:38 why this is like paranormal activity yes 0:41:40 absolutely like you know 0:41:42 so yeah that's what you turned into she 0:41:44 has a in a moral islamic manner 0:41:51 in a humane manner 0:41:53 seeing that that the the woman the women 0:41:55 are actually human beings they're not 0:41:57 property 0:41:59 they're not just nothing they have got 0:42:01 souls they have got emotions they have 0:42:03 got thoughts they have got wants they've 0:42:04 got desires 0:42:06 and that's okay for them to have 0:42:09 right 0:42:10 i think many of us women and men have 0:42:13 yet to even fully accept it that that's 0:42:15 the case that a woman 0:42:17 you're dealing with a whole person okay 0:42:19 no problem you're dealing with the whole 0:42:20 person too 0:42:21 is your husband a whole person does he 0:42:22 have desires and emotions 0:42:24 one lies aji look we understand we 0:42:27 accept our sisters we accept the muslim 0:42:30 muslim woman woman with a true nature 0:42:32 you're a hypocrite by your nature you 0:42:33 look for a man who is taller than you 0:42:34 who can provide security who can provide 0:42:35 for you you can do many things who's 0:42:37 who's more maybe a leader you look for 0:42:40 these properties that's what your nature 0:42:42 inherently has do we complain about it 0:42:44 no we try to be that best person that we 0:42:46 can so you can select us yeah 0:42:48 why is it that when it comes to our 0:42:50 nature which is a polygamous nature we 0:42:52 are shunt 0:42:53 why is the double standards we accept 0:42:55 you with your high perkins nature no 0:42:57 problem why do you not accept us with 0:42:59 the polygamous nature why are we shunned 0:43:01 why would she say why am i guilty 0:43:03 you know what brother did i choose 0:43:04 people against did i choose how this is 0:43:05 no i'm not creating me like that go and 0:43:07 take out now if i see this i'm going to 0:43:08 say oh spiritual abuse now using the god 0:43:10 card well you're finished i'm asking a 0:43:13 simple question i think being a man is a 0:43:14 spirituality it's finished 0:43:16 for you 0:43:20 the point the point the point here is 0:43:22 this yeah no man let me tell you 0:43:24 something okay yeah okay let me tell you 0:43:26 something here no man no man yeah look i 0:43:29 have a wife i love my wife i do not wake 0:43:31 up one day and go 0:43:32 let me practice polygamy and let me 0:43:34 destroy her 0:43:35 okay what the hell are you talking about 0:43:37 no man wakes up and says let me break my 0:43:39 family let me make my wife upset no what 0:43:42 we're saying is inherently as men we are 0:43:44 polygamous by our nature okay some 0:43:46 choose to practice it most want to 0:43:47 practice it they can't because of many 0:43:49 other reasons but the point is we are 0:43:51 all polygamous via our nature we do not 0:43:53 do this to hurt our families why would i 0:43:56 wake up one day and destroy my whole 0:43:57 family no understand that that's within 0:43:59 our nature okay and if we was to go 0:44:02 about it and do it the right way which 0:44:04 you guys haven't given us an option you 0:44:05 know what is the right way nothing 0:44:06 why are we to blame why are we made to 0:44:10 be evil the question i'm asking is this 0:44:12 why does a good muslim man who wants to 0:44:14 practice polygamy become bad please tell 0:44:17 me what makes him bad in a special 0:44:20 second decision of wanting to get a 0:44:22 co-wife please tell me why is he evil 0:44:25 because you are brainwashed to the 0:44:26 current standards of monogamy yes 0:44:29 monogamy is a new concept it's a new 0:44:30 phenomena not from they adam it's been 0:44:33 polygamy that is the norm you've been 0:44:35 watching too much hollywood bollywood 0:44:36 and all these kind of movies that's made 0:44:38 you to believe one man one woman and 0:44:40 guess what most women that's watching 0:44:41 this will know okay and i'll bet anybody 0:44:45 you have in one moment or time 0:44:46 practicing on practicing 0:44:48 caught your husband or your boyfriend 0:44:50 speaking to another girl or or something 0:44:53 why are men doing this okay well okay if 0:44:56 there was a study done 0:44:57 and if the study showed that every woman 0:44:59 on on planet earth wanted a gucci bag i 0:45:01 would have to say to myself there is 0:45:02 inherently something within a woman that 0:45:04 loves a gucci bag why do they like it 0:45:06 because it's cross-culturally across the 0:45:07 globe they have this phenomena i think 0:45:10 you're making a good point 0:45:12 just to finish on this the point is this 0:45:13 i would have to come and say okay there 0:45:14 is something wired within a woman's 0:45:16 brain that she likes a gucci bag 0:45:19 i will have to accept that reality yes 0:45:21 and be like okay how do we do it okay 0:45:24 it's fine yes why is it that when a man 0:45:27 wants to practice polygamy in a right 0:45:29 way 0:45:30 you look at all the stuff that you said 0:45:32 and then how could the man come to you 0:45:33 and not be like after all the bullying 0:45:35 all the words you used which man in 0:45:37 their right mind will open up to you and 0:45:38 say look i want to get a second wife 0:45:40 which man good point and i will say look 0:45:43 there's something else i would add to 0:45:44 this which is that you mentioned that 0:45:46 this has been going on across culturally 0:45:47 historically 0:45:48 uh actually i think from what i remember 0:45:50 britannica universe encyclopedia it said 0:45:53 85 10 95 of what civilizations before 0:45:56 the current age i.e the last hundred 0:45:58 years were permitted politically so if 0:46:01 it's the case they all do practice in 0:46:02 spiritual abuse no no it's what i'm 0:46:04 saying here good it's what i'm saying is 0:46:06 here if if this is a normal 0:46:08 psychological reaction 0:46:10 in other words to consider this to be 0:46:11 spiritual abuse to consider then we 0:46:14 should have seen a wealth of historical 0:46:16 evidence 0:46:17 from thousands of years up until the 0:46:19 present age 0:46:20 we should have seen 0:46:22 a wealth of historical information 0:46:23 testimonials from women all considering 0:46:25 it to be in your words traumatic abusive 0:46:29 using the god card bullying and laying 0:46:32 on the street and pretending to 0:46:34 wanting to commit suicide 0:46:36 suicide idea dropped on the floor all 0:46:38 those things all these kind of wordings 0:46:39 that you're using yeah we're not we we 0:46:41 simply don't have any historical 0:46:43 evidence 0:46:44 in a thousand four hundred years 0:46:46 to indicate anything more that than the 0:46:48 fact that yes this did cause and we have 0:46:50 to be very honest and just yes it does 0:46:53 cause and did cause historically 0:46:55 levels of jealousy anxiety 0:46:57 um anger frustration 0:47:00 all kinds of discomfort for women yeah 0:47:01 but not to the level what they are 0:47:03 describing here this this kind of 0:47:05 testimonial here 0:47:07 is absent in the historical record 0:47:09 considering the fact that even 0:47:11 non-muslim societies were practicing 0:47:13 these kind of things 0:47:14 even today i mean you go to nigeria i've 0:47:16 just been to nigeria again christian 0:47:18 people were practicing it forget 0:47:20 christian non-muslims today in the west 0:47:22 are practicing thank you very much what 0:47:23 dream are we living in man i don't know 0:47:25 no no i actually don't know non-muslim 0:47:26 men are practicing it yes 0:47:29 look mistress's girlfriend 0:47:31 they are doing it like this happy days 0:47:33 or serial monogamy yes pro-serial 0:47:34 monogamous why they see 0:47:37 and monogamous why 0:47:37 serum monogamous because they're looking 0:47:39 and they're thinking their wife is 0:47:40 reached 40 45 years or 50 years old 0:47:42 cannot produce kids anymore and 0:47:43 biologically that's a virus we're not 0:47:45 having to go out then the thing is here 0:47:47 is that hold on a second they're 0:47:48 thinking if i go and tell her about a 0:47:49 second they're like i'll divorce these 0:47:51 women end up dying along with the cat 0:47:54 that's the reality because a man's 0:47:55 biology he can carry on so the thing is 0:47:57 they're thinking okay i'll divorce her 0:47:59 and go get a new motto and that is 0:48:01 what's happening and guess what they are 0:48:02 practicing polygamy what they've done is 0:48:04 in the wrong way by leaving one wife 0:48:06 who's given his life breaking her that's 0:48:08 what he called breaking because he is 0:48:10 abandoning her that's the worst thing 0:48:12 can you imagine okay let me tell you 0:48:13 something a man 0:48:15 another issue that sisters have is this 0:48:16 they think that we love the way they 0:48:17 love when a woman loves one person she's 0:48:19 bound to because she's wide like that 0:48:21 she loves one man the moment she falls 0:48:22 out of love in one man she tends to 0:48:24 start her divorce period long time 0:48:27 two years so some brothers come and say 0:48:28 oh my my wife divorced me i moved on 0:48:30 fast is that brother that was happened 0:48:31 two years ago you're sleeping yeah so 0:48:32 the thing is they and they think that's 0:48:34 how we love no it doesn't work like that 0:48:36 for a man it's like a woman who loves 0:48:38 her kids if you can't say which kid do 0:48:38 you love the most so i love them all the 0:48:40 same okay so for a man it's like that we 0:48:42 don't love the way you love that's why 0:48:43 you think when a man gets a second wife 0:48:45 you think he doesn't love me anymore 0:48:46 there's something wrong with me 0:48:48 brothers that i know who practice 0:48:49 believing me most of them when it 0:48:51 doesn't go right things go sour they go 0:48:52 back to the first wife why because they 0:48:54 never had a problem with in the first 0:48:56 place 0:48:56 the point is this they go back to the 0:48:58 first wife the point is if he didn't 0:49:00 like you he would have left you there's 0:49:02 a talaq bye bye i want to move i'm happy 0:49:04 with you that is not the case we don't 0:49:05 work the way you work that's true we're 0:49:07 not why the way you are thank you very 0:49:08 much let's uh let's hear maybe one more 0:49:10 one more 0:49:12 an actual human being 0:49:14 and to come with that level of emotional 0:49:17 maturity intelligence and 0:49:20 just 0:49:21 sir 0:49:22 respect and consideration that was my 0:49:24 last point that was your last point your 0:49:25 final my final point i think in the 0:49:27 cases of polygamy the woman who finds 0:49:29 herself in position in that position 0:49:32 like in the case of a person who's on 0:49:33 the fence about divorce from a 0:49:34 monogamous marriage 0:49:36 um i think the advice tends to be that 0:49:38 we need to maintain the 0:49:40 the institution we need to keep the 0:49:42 house intact 0:49:44 even if it's going to be at the expense 0:49:46 of the individuals who comprise it and i 0:49:48 think that's a dangerous bit of advice 0:49:50 well 0:49:51 you should come on social media 0:49:52 immediately 0:49:54 because of this 0:49:56 because of this advice i swear to god 0:49:57 sister with all your respect 0:49:59 i don't know if you're going through 0:50:00 something may allah make it easier on 0:50:01 you and i'm not trying to 0:50:03 and i'm not trying to belittle you here 0:50:04 when i'm saying this okay i'm not being 0:50:06 condescending let me tell you something 0:50:07 for you to come and say something so 0:50:09 sacred like the family unit yeah what 0:50:11 does she say basically what she's saying 0:50:13 in a nutshell this family unit that you 0:50:15 have is so sacred yeah but don't put up 0:50:18 with it you know the feminist narrative 0:50:20 no yeah miss independent destroy it and 0:50:22 basically she's saying destroy yourself 0:50:24 for your children put yourself before 0:50:26 your children this is a selfish attitude 0:50:28 okay it's a selfish attitude and guess 0:50:30 what it is so selfish that the mother 0:50:33 who's been advised by this sister is 0:50:34 basically being told that even if it 0:50:36 comes at the cost of your children yeah 0:50:41 what's waiting for you better on the 0:50:42 other side let's put it dude no no no no 0:50:44 no no no no one second economics 0:50:46 the probation sister's sister's thing 0:50:47 honestly let me tell you okay let me 0:50:49 tell you something sisters think that 0:50:51 the husband that practice polygamy that 0:50:53 when they divorce they're going to go to 0:50:54 another person that's not polygamous 0:50:56 i'll repeat again every man 0:50:58 yeah this is what the sisters don't 0:50:59 understand they think there is a man out 0:51:01 there 0:51:03 right the night in shining armor yeah 0:51:04 the white night shining armor yeah okay 0:51:06 the muslim in a thought should say with 0:51:07 a horse here okay is he's waiting for 0:51:09 them no you're going to get the same 0:51:10 issue in a different way if he doesn't 0:51:12 if he fears you i would be allah he's 0:51:14 going to do it behind your back in the 0:51:15 wrong way or guess what if he fears 0:51:16 allah is going to do in the right way or 0:51:18 you know what if he fears allah more 0:51:20 he's going to hide it because you know 0:51:21 if he's it tells you you're going to 0:51:22 cause chaos havoc yeah so 0:51:25 what i'm going to say is the sister 0:51:26 things to me her name samaya yeah says 0:51:28 allah with all due respect please do not 0:51:30 ever talk about this topic period yeah 0:51:32 for you to come and give us advice look 0:51:34 you can come and say you know what it 0:51:35 wasn't for me or whatever or i know 0:51:36 somebody went through it was very like 0:51:38 whatever it may be 0:51:39 you guys didn't talk about how it was 0:51:40 done the wrong way you did a full out 0:51:42 attack a lethal attack an atomic a 0:51:44 nuclear warhead on polygamy itself and 0:51:46 you turned into a horror movie it's 0:51:48 worse than paranormal activity and you 0:51:50 are here coming and seeing basically the 0:51:52 house and text the family the intact 0:51:53 house destroy it i'm so sorry wallahi 0:51:56 and two hundred thousand people watch 0:51:57 this fear allah subhanahu wa tala a 0:51:59 sister who is involved in polygamy her 0:52:01 husband has gone married again while he 0:52:04 let me tell you something god knows how 0:52:05 many marriages you destroyed but stop 0:52:06 doing the spiritual god knows how many 0:52:08 you're doing too much spiritual abuse 0:52:09 i'm gonna do more let them get ready for 0:52:10 it okay let me tell you something yeah 0:52:11 okay good i don't need a good card 0:52:13 whatever you like okay 0:52:14 whatever subhanallah yeah the point is 0:52:17 this okay do not talk about these 0:52:19 matters okay please please do not talk 0:52:21 about this matters you don't know how 0:52:22 delicate the family unit is and you 0:52:24 don't know how fragile our sisters are 0:52:25 they already been attacked by feminists 0:52:26 on top of that we have our sisters in 0:52:28 hijabs giving advice of the intact 0:52:30 family unit so destroy it imagine this 0:52:32 like i'm sorry i'm so sorry to say that 0:52:35 let me say something and you know what 0:52:36 what if it wasn't one 0:52:37 what did they say in the video they said 0:52:38 we don't mind brothers coming open open 0:52:40 discussion i would like to invite 0:52:41 sisters i would like to invite all the 0:52:43 sisters that were on there to come to 0:52:44 have a discussion civilized discussion 0:52:46 on this topic at hand if you genuinely 0:52:48 care about the ummah which we have no 0:52:49 doubt you do please i will invite you 0:52:51 i'm doing a little new show having a 0:52:52 discussion with gender roles etc i would 0:52:54 like to invite our sisters to come 0:52:56 me myself you and me brothers ishaan 0:52:58 let's talk about this as your brothers 0:52:59 and sisters and let's give a solution a 0:53:01 correct way of practicing polygamy i'll 0:53:03 invite our sisters 0:53:05 i think what you said there is 0:53:06 absolutely right i mean um one book 0:53:08 that's pretty easy to read about the 0:53:11 problems of a single single parent 0:53:13 household 0:53:14 is the boy crisis yeah for example by 0:53:17 farren now this this particular book 0:53:20 i kind of have time to enumerate the 0:53:21 kind of statistics that he puts in this 0:53:23 book about 0:53:24 how much a single mother puts a child in 0:53:28 a disadvantage from an educational 0:53:29 perspective 0:53:31 it increases their chances 0:53:33 yeah i get you yeah of course not we're 0:53:35 saying that's what's of course i'm 0:53:36 saying that you know uh criminal 0:53:38 delinquency uh educational uh levels all 0:53:41 these kinds of things you're putting 0:53:43 them in a in a disadvantaged position 0:53:45 before in our history in our illustrious 0:53:48 history yeah our mothers and fathers 0:53:50 used to fight wars for us they used to 0:53:52 no honestly they used to 0:53:54 the traumas that they actually went 0:53:55 through yes quite frankly yes were 0:53:58 something that would put us all to shame 0:54:00 including me and you all of us ashamed 0:54:02 exactly and now we're talking about 0:54:04 a marriage setup as if it is uh you know 0:54:07 a cancer cancer or an age yeah which 0:54:10 which will destroy you and there's no 0:54:12 way 0:54:14 there is no way of you being able to 0:54:16 adapt to it no no let me give you some 0:54:18 figures here kids from single mother 0:54:19 home 63 of you of all youth suicides 0:54:21 single mother homes 90 of homelessness 0:54:23 and runaway children from simple mother 0:54:25 homes 85 of behavioral disorders single 0:54:27 mother homes 80 of rapists with angry 0:54:29 shoes single mother homes 71 percent of 0:54:31 high school dropouts single mother homes 0:54:33 80 of all youth in prison single mother 0:54:35 homes i give a disclaimer i'm not saying 0:54:36 the mothers are up blame i'm saying it's 0:54:38 from single mother homes so you're 0:54:39 basically saying that's what's intact 0:54:41 yeah destroy it 0:54:43 imagine if they all had their fathers 0:54:45 and by the way this could be the 0:54:45 father's one maybe the father left them 0:54:47 i'm not saying they're away fathers yes 0:54:48 what i'm seeing is the selfish decision 0:54:51 of the father or the mother is coming at 0:54:53 the consequences of a ripple effect of 0:54:55 the children you should follow in the 0:54:56 fire 0:54:58 it is gender egoism 0:55:00 feminism gender is selfishness yes it's 0:55:03 gender egoism i would never give advice 0:55:06 to anyone in the way that she has right 0:55:07 now never never and it is at the end of 0:55:09 this individualism yes it is egoism and 0:55:12 individualism is selfish you're teaching 0:55:13 themselves you're not teaching them 0:55:14 islam you're not teaching them so 0:55:16 instead of yes 0:55:19 [Music]0:55:29 yes 0:55:30 not these areas yes let's instead think 0:55:32 about counseling maybe a secular 0:55:34 counselor because you know there's a 0:55:35 google culture yes let's think about 0:55:36 breaking the house yeah let's not think 0:55:38 about a family intact yes this is 0:55:40 diabolical blah blah blah you know 0:55:41 what's very important just finish on 0:55:42 this i'm so sorry listen look sisters 0:55:43 you listen to that yeah was there one 0:55:45 quran in there she didn't mention one 0:55:47 area okay one second that shows me it's 0:55:48 one thing it's nothing but coming from 0:55:50 the uncle 0:55:52 from her emotions 0:55:55 please break it from the other stuff no 0:55:56 problem no problem here if you go if 0:55:58 somebody goes to a person of knowledge 0:56:00 and says my husband got married again 0:56:02 and if that person speaks from the quran 0:56:03 the eye is that you quoted 0:56:06 at least it would aid the woman and say 0:56:08 you know what patience calling out the 0:56:09 truth yes calling her to like stuff to 0:56:12 maintain the family unit etc we're not 0:56:14 talking about a husband that comes and 0:56:15 punches you in the face doesn't look 0:56:17 after you doesn't provide exactly we're 0:56:19 talking about husbands who's doing all 0:56:20 these things exactly but decided to get 0:56:22 married again 0:56:23 yeah and he's still with you he hasn't 0:56:25 divorced he's still you're saying you're 0:56:26 my wife i love you he's and he got 0:56:28 married again and because of this he is 0:56:30 vilified turned into a vampire dracula 0:56:32 sucking blood a horror movie look at the 0:56:35 level they went to not a single quran 0:56:37 and but when you go to the kitab of 0:56:39 allah look how allah consults you and 0:56:40 look how allah tells you to be patient 0:56:42 yeah and tells you what is better well 0:56:45 this is the reason why any kind of 0:56:47 man-made law or woman made law or any 0:56:49 kind of opinions that i spewed out with 0:56:51 no quran 0:56:52 run a mile i'm telling you run a mile 0:56:54 that's what i have to say i think that's 0:56:55 a good place to end and 0:56:57 i think i will end as well with a very 0:56:59 famous quote i saw from victor franco 0:57:01 which he wrote a book called the meaning 0:57:02 of life 0:57:03 very powerful and he introduced 0:57:05 something called logo therapy by the way 0:57:07 which is it focuses on meaning and the 0:57:09 why behind you know and it's a really 0:57:11 powerful way for from a religious 0:57:13 perspective how someone can attach 0:57:15 themselves to meaning 0:57:16 and just like nietzsche said you know if 0:57:18 you have a why almost any how is 0:57:19 possible if a woman is going through 0:57:21 this look first of all we don't want to 0:57:23 diminish from what you're going through 0:57:25 it's a very difficult situation it 0:57:27 really is yeah 0:57:28 however 0:57:30 if there's a why and your why is strong 0:57:32 you will be rewarded by allah subhana wa 0:57:34 almost anyhow as possible you'll be able 0:57:36 to get through this polygamy you'll do 0:57:37 it for your children you'll do it for 0:57:38 your family you'll do it for yourself 0:57:40 and you will get rewarded in the 0:57:42 hereafter as well 0:57:43 but something which vinta franco himself 0:57:45 said which i think was very interesting 0:57:46 is i think it applies in these 0:57:48 situations in the situation of a woman 0:57:50 whose the mother does not very happy 0:57:52 with the person who she married and the 0:57:54 woman the first wife in both situations 0:57:56 in many situations like it is that when 0:57:58 you have when you can no longer change 0:58:00 the situation 0:58:01 then you have to try and change yourself 0:58:04 you know and at the end of the day 0:58:06 if for me as an individual if i was 0:58:08 going through something difficult in 0:58:09 life something uncomfortable i would 0:58:11 want my people around me 0:58:13 to give me words which will increase my 0:58:15 resilience yes my toughness my strength 0:58:18 i'm sorry to say but if if you are being 0:58:21 charged with all of these kinds of uh 0:58:24 micro feministic phrases trauma bullying 0:58:27 suic using the word suicide i mean using 0:58:30 all kinds of words 0:58:31 how is that meant to engender 0:58:33 empowerment how is that meant to 0:58:36 engender strength and toughness and 0:58:38 resilience within muslim people it's not 0:58:40 even negative it's un-islamic poisonous 0:58:43 it's shameful it's humiliating and it 0:58:46 should be repented for and i don't care 0:58:48 and you know i expect maybe some people 0:58:50 say well this is they're very upset 0:58:52 they're very i don't know i don't care 0:58:54 what anyone knows all right you have no 0:58:55 right to come out and 0:58:57 affect children yes 0:58:59 young children with your poisonous and 0:59:02 misinformed advice you should repent you 0:59:05 should ask for forgiveness and you 0:59:07 should delete those videos and if you 0:59:09 delete your videos maybe most of them 0:59:11 because all of them have this kind of 0:59:13 tone with very limited af in the quran 0:59:15 which you claim to believe and the 0:59:17 hadith which you also claim to believe 0:59:19 and start afresh with the quran in front 0:59:21 of you otherwise you are creating 0:59:23 mischief in the land 0:59:28 the prophet 0:59:29 muhammad told 0:59:32 when the son of adam dies 0:59:34 all of his good deeds are interrupted 0:59:36 they are finished 0:59:38 except for three things 0:59:42 a continuous charity and a beneficial 0:59:45 knowledge and also a righteous offspring 0:59:48 that makes dua for him your brothers and 0:59:50 sisters in islam net from norway are 0:59:52 establishing a masjid a douwa center and 0:59:55 fulfilling a great portion of this 0:59:58 hadith on your behalf establishing a 1:00:00 masjid to convey the message of islam is 1:00:03 one of the best deeds a muslim can do 1:00:06 whenever someone prays there whenever 1:00:08 someone gives shahada in the masjid 1:00:11 whenever someone learns something in the 1:00:13 masjid 1:00:14 yes 1:00:15 that will be something that you will 1:00:16 have on your scale 1:00:18 so give generously and allah azzawajal 1:00:21 will give you even more 1:00:34 you

Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy (2022-08-25) ​

Summary of Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy ​

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Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy (2022-08-25)

Summary of Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy

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