MUSLIM TALKS TO GAY SEX ADVISOR - NEW YORK (2018-11-18) ​

0:00:11 you're ready
0:00:15 jacket he's going to a crisis you can
0:00:25 change much closer possibly changes
0:00:27 around
0:00:37 you know I questions everything from
0:00:39 Instagram
0:00:43 you're dealing with everything what are
0:00:45 okay let me ask you a question what
0:00:47 other like let's say the most common
0:00:49 problems your ear face as well as to the
0:00:52 issues that you use societal issues that
0:00:54 you keep like I keep coming up say you
0:01:02 know boil it down to the VFD I would say
0:01:04 people are not trusting their instincts
0:01:17 what do you mean by that can you give me
0:01:43 like more like a case study so you're
0:01:44 saying people are maybe they're not
0:01:45 aware or they're not confident in
0:01:47 themselves or what is it exactly they're
0:01:48 being told by multiple sources that what
0:01:50 have been one of our
0:01:58 challenges that people tell us our
0:02:01 supposed to be about sex for our bodies
0:02:04 okay
0:02:07 feel and we quickly believe that at age
0:02:10 3 or 4 or 5 or 15 or 30
0:02:14 and it's hard to shake that so you might
0:02:16 have an instinct like I just want to
0:02:19 masturbate and that might be your thing
0:02:24 you should also be wanting to get
0:02:26 married to this type of person and we
0:02:28 having this type of sex with them and
0:02:30 once a week what spice a week but you
0:02:31 might be thinking I just want to it
0:02:33 whatever maybe you have your own beliefs
0:02:36 about what works for you is pornography
0:02:38 a big theme here in your work because is
0:02:41 it not so people certainly use doesn't
0:02:47 come out and but I think that usually
0:02:49 people have more questions around
0:02:51 interpersonal and Orin is usually not
0:02:56 into personal it born is in some way
0:02:59 interpersonal it's more the
0:03:00 interpersonal reaction where someone's
0:03:01 yeah
0:03:03 coming up against what if I ask you a
0:03:07 question do you find that there's a in
0:03:10 terms of males and females age groups
0:03:12 different demographics who seems to be
0:03:16 like let's say for example tense exhibit
0:03:18 than most insecurities or problems or
0:03:20 comments are there any specific classes
0:03:24 of people that you can say okay these
0:03:25 individuals keep coming up to think
0:03:34 about their sexuality or their gender or
0:03:36 their sexual expression or gender
0:03:38 identity yeah
0:03:43 theyõre we don't have
0:03:45 talking about but they have been dealing
0:03:48 with the front and center and sort of
0:03:49 being balanced
0:03:50 fivesome all around it
0:03:52 so in a lot of ways are people who are
0:03:54 queer or gender non-conforming or
0:03:57 transgender a lot of ways we regularly
0:04:04 challenge from family and other folks in
0:04:07 the world
0:04:09 challenged ourselves but that said I
0:04:13 really feel like one of the
0:04:15 misconceptions is that
0:04:18 different genders are extremely
0:04:19 different
0:04:22 research my stuff so there are tons of
0:04:28 I'm in you know
0:04:33 what kind of things today I mean you
0:04:35 talked about for example homosexual
0:04:37 community right are the challenges faced
0:04:39 by the homosexual community different
0:04:42 from those faced by straight people for
0:04:45 example what kind of challenge what are
0:04:46 the differences similarities in
0:04:47 differences between the two committees
0:04:52 but in other words there is not right so
0:04:55 everyone is dealing not everyone many
0:04:57 people are dealing with the nice thing
0:05:01 is that is that big theme then social me
0:05:04 is that something which I wouldn't even
0:05:06 say no okay as an example of I okay so
0:05:12 people regardless into sexual
0:05:14 orientation yes
0:05:17 you know we're dealing with similar
0:05:18 things sometimes the overal are straight
0:05:21 maybe we are dealing with you know
0:05:23 feeling like they can experiment less
0:05:24 sexually we're
0:05:27 are given in some regards people want
0:05:31 permission around being more exploratory
0:05:34 I was out of thought started to deject I
0:05:36 mean just for a simple biological
0:05:39 perspective that would not be the case
0:05:41 in the sense that obviously a man and a
0:05:43 man can't do as much as a man and a
0:05:45 woman can do I mean just by virtue of
0:05:50 the fact that there's more
0:05:52 I mean there are differentiated entry
0:05:54 point alike it's not right I mean I I'd
0:06:03 see it under present differently
0:06:07 you see it this way yeah you know if
0:06:10 because if sex is more than in this
0:06:13 invention or canal or a penis and anus
0:06:15 or penis and throat or whatever baby
0:06:17 right or because people are sexual and
0:06:22 soon
0:06:23 for example two people looking at the
0:06:26 same computer screen
0:06:28 would you consider that sex if they
0:06:30 masturbate into the same computer screen
0:06:32 if they want to cause sex that's better
0:06:34 okay so how would you define things well
0:06:38 so sex is a complicated word because it
0:06:40 has different meanings in terms of
0:06:43 characteristics okay and then there are
0:06:44 things that people do that are sexual
0:06:46 with each other that people may consider
0:06:48 sex people making solo sex or
0:06:50 masturbation sex I like to really let
0:06:52 people make those
0:06:54 quite possible this yourself you quite
0:06:57 postmodernist i know he you think
0:06:59 outside the box in a sense yeah I liked
0:07:02 it I just noticed that as I said one of
0:07:07 the biggest issues that I see
0:07:09 scripts are some ways to be sexually and
0:07:12 I don't yeah if I
0:07:15 you know suggesting that somebody really
0:07:18 should I mean there must be prominent
0:07:21 that you put in place I mean how would
0:07:23 you feel about be Kelly for example
0:07:25 questions so you'll notice if you study
0:07:28 is really taboo topics right you know
0:07:32 things that we this is a true der in the
0:07:39 u.s. there are some states which allow
0:07:41 this jelly study or even if you just
0:07:50 look at twenty eighteen persistent on
0:07:51 each hand yes
0:07:55 not yet fortunately a lot of people
0:07:59 that were trending towards greater
0:08:01 conscious actions so in that sense you
0:08:04 know one of the
0:08:07 at least his consent
0:08:10 about nonhumans living being
0:08:15 instead of non yeah what's your view on
0:08:17 that well one of the things among others
0:08:20 that we often talk about is
0:08:26 not some
0:08:28 with nonhumans here
0:08:30 [Music]
0:08:35 it does come up and it comes up a lot
0:08:37 does it really so what what kind of
0:08:38 countries does it come up in come that's
0:08:39 quite well I usually might like to not
0:08:41 name certain countries okay about which
0:08:44 countries nope / yeah maybe Neil he
0:08:50 wants to know I mean you know I would
0:08:54 say if we were you know the cameras were
0:08:55 near what not I would but I just like my
0:08:57 I understand you don't incite anything
0:09:00 yeah yeah yeah no no problem
0:09:03 yeah yeah it comes up this is this is
0:09:08 the thing this is the question like for
0:09:12 my paradigm choose do you have a
0:09:15 question because I know it's obvious I'm
0:09:17 a Muslim right I'm a believer of
0:09:19 scripture scripture list if you like
0:09:20 traditionalist and it's not just Muslims
0:09:22 that have parameters that are finally
0:09:25 all very much defined by Scriptures it's
0:09:28 also Christian Jews all sort of
0:09:30 different like you were talking about
0:09:31 kind of I think you applied it in some
0:09:32 of what you were saying so obviously for
0:09:34 us it's a matter of looking at the text
0:09:36 and seeing okay well this is in
0:09:38 accordance with God's will and it isn't
0:09:40 according to protocol so it's very much
0:09:41 divine command theory if you like you
0:09:43 know you believe that the authority goes
0:09:45 to the text and therefore
0:09:46 we act in accordance to it right so it's
0:09:49 much more rigid if you like it's these
0:09:51 are the parameters right you can't go
0:09:53 for for example homosexuality and Islam
0:09:55 is not permissible you know obviously
0:09:58 Judaism in Australia it's not
0:10:00 permissible you can't have sex with
0:10:01 another man or a woman having sex with
0:10:05 another woman in fact
0:10:06 Islam wouldn't define a woman you know a
0:10:10 pleasure in another woman has even sex
0:10:12 frankly right because because we this
0:10:14 there's very key definitions for
0:10:17 instance sex would be seen as either
0:10:20 penetration from a vagina in a Varnado
0:10:23 sense all analysis these two things
0:10:25 would be
0:10:26 as a section Islam that wouldn't be seen
0:10:30 as sex enough would not it's something
0:10:34 extra something else but it's not sex in
0:10:37 the in the in the scripture in a strict
0:10:40 scriptural sense so yeah so from that
0:10:44 perspective we have very strict
0:10:46 guidelines and things like that but it
0:10:49 always but it is a no sex is not allowed
0:10:51 in Islam quite it's considered sex yeah
0:10:54 just sorry thank you for the
0:10:56 clarification it's not allowed whether
0:10:58 it's from man to man or man to woman by
0:11:00 a woman
0:11:02 now lesson won't remember that's not
0:11:04 what's the wrath that's very possible
0:11:05 happens all the time actually it's
0:11:07 actually I'm saying that in a lot of
0:11:10 those sex shops here it's one of the
0:11:12 most common classes that we teach about
0:11:15 golf
0:11:16 so women having anal sex with men
0:11:20 Bhavana t monster it's a bit unusual it
0:11:23 doesn't undermine lesbianism in a sense
0:11:25 right because if a woman is strapping on
0:11:27 sorry to say why she's doing that then
0:11:32 it doesn't that kind of in a sense under
0:11:34 - sexual lesbian at least like because
0:11:36 sexual lesbians do lashes you know kind
0:11:39 of being attracted to the female organs
0:11:42 in a post office even to male sexual
0:11:44 things but if you're if you're trying to
0:11:46 emulate no sexual organs and it would
0:11:48 kind of in price on how that you're
0:11:50 sexually attracted to them so maybe that
0:11:52 women that do that shouldn't they be
0:11:54 accused of some kind of bisexual that
0:11:56 way refusing it is it not it's not
0:11:58 viewable into available
0:12:09 I've been somewhere that the shape of a
0:12:11 penis there's a lot of you know I think
0:12:17 maybe assumptions and it built into that
0:12:19 and so what's your view on here's the
0:12:22 thing right anus has a gang of nerve
0:12:25 endings okay and so the [ __ ] me off
0:12:30 right the anus is a sensitive area
0:12:37 other people breaking so whether good
0:12:40 so another partner a partner who's male
0:12:45 transgender a person it's a partner who
0:12:47 they can't see and they don't know it's
0:12:49 a severe and woman are transgender
0:12:51 person stimulating my anus their anus
0:12:55 you can also question and this is
0:12:58 because I was looking at some reports
0:13:00 you useful for the UN is no so I was
0:13:03 looking at some report from the World
0:13:04 Health Organization and also we've got
0:13:07 in the UK cuz I'm from the UK probably
0:13:08 together Maxim right we've got some
0:13:11 reports written by the NHS acceptor and
0:13:14 what seems to be a common thing that is
0:13:16 said and we're not saying that
0:13:18 correlation equals causation any of that
0:13:19 but we're saying that one thing which is
0:13:21 commonly said about homosexuals they
0:13:23 they have a higher propensity to
0:13:27 sexually transmitted diseases in fact
0:13:29 there's some like the wh old since it's
0:13:31 like 13 times more likely to contract
0:13:33 aid 13 times more likely to contract
0:13:35 gonorrhea or whatever it may be right so
0:13:39 I guess what I'm asking is if we're if
0:13:42 we're doing the social analysis here of
0:13:44 of homosexual type sex or anal sex not
0:13:49 even just a man and a man to be a man a
0:13:50 woman even if we don't you know sex or
0:13:55 I'm calling I'm calling an anal sex for
0:13:58 now yeah but also specifically because
0:14:00 all statistics are specified from
0:14:02 sexuals right ok so those 2 to 6 times
0:14:06 just McCrory there's not about anal sex
0:14:08 about homosexuals yeah so could there be
0:14:11 a case that homosexual sex if we're
0:14:15 looking at a kind of an aggregate of
0:14:16 social pros and cons could be more
0:14:21 harmful than is producer but he just
0:14:36 won't face any sex this point of
0:14:38 homosexuals having more likelihood of
0:14:40 you see contracting those diseases is
0:14:44 that is that concern for it within
0:14:46 homosexual circles or
0:14:53 so yes I think that one of the things
0:14:55 that would be beneficial is to just
0:14:58 broaden our understanding of sex so
0:15:01 there's
0:15:01 hey sex is not homosexual sex there are
0:15:05 people who get together and do things
0:15:07 with their bodies that may
0:15:10 so there's not one type of
0:15:14 it's just people just proteins with
0:15:16 their bodies I feel good or that maybe
0:15:18 build
0:15:20 right
0:15:23 I guess your question is is when things
0:15:27 happen to certain communities are they
0:15:28 concerning
0:15:30 yeah I mean let's be frank I mean all
0:15:33 communities have to be somewhat
0:15:34 introspective right in the sense that
0:15:37 for example if there are diseases
0:15:40 related to certain race groups I don't
0:15:42 think it's racist to kind of clarify
0:15:44 that for example sub-saharan Africa we
0:15:46 have there's more likelihood of there
0:15:48 being AIDS it's not I'm not saying it's
0:15:49 for racial reason but when we start to
0:15:52 kind of look at these things objectively
0:15:54 scientifically if you like right you
0:15:56 know science can be very useful in these
0:15:58 things right all I'm asking is that if
0:16:01 if there is a spread of disease which is
0:16:03 exacerbated in a certain community
0:16:05 doesn't it make sense to question the
0:16:08 reasoning for that disease yeah so so
0:16:11 from that perspective going back to
0:16:13 because I think the paradigm you're
0:16:14 working from is so long as it feels good
0:16:15 it's it's okay it's permissible so long
0:16:22 as this consent and it feels good I mean
0:16:23 no one's maybe harming each other
0:16:25 ya know rape or anything like that right
0:16:28 so if that's kind of like a liberal
0:16:30 opposition
0:16:33 why not
0:16:40 yeah I would I would consider a liberal
0:16:42 only because it conforms to
0:16:44 philosophical liberalism right so yeah
0:16:46 so in the sense that you know you can do
0:16:48 everyone so long as you don't harm
0:16:49 anyone else right so but here what
0:16:52 Antoine ask me more specifically is if
0:16:54 we can identify a social harm ha yeah a
0:17:00 social harm which might not be direct
0:17:02 what might be indirect right I might be
0:17:07 identified when looking at a broad scale
0:17:11 kind of time period so isn't it isn't it
0:17:17 important for us to kind of question the
0:17:19 reasons why this is happening in a
0:17:25 nutshell if we know that the spread of
0:17:28 diseases is exacerbated yes
0:17:31 if the certain kind of sexual experiment
0:17:33 is done between men and men anal sex
0:17:37 shouldn't be questioned having sex in
0:17:40 this way
0:17:46 okay let me put it this way what are you
0:17:50 trying to convince me of that or use do
0:17:52 you want to do you want to know my
0:17:54 opinion what's what are you I think it's
0:17:58 a little bit more into baiting I'm just
0:18:00 trying to see usually people sit down
0:18:02 and never questions about someone
0:18:03 they're dating or whatever it is
0:18:06 yes yes I know but I'm trying to make
0:18:08 I'm trying to understand seems like
0:18:10 you're trying to put him in a corner
0:18:11 that's my impression yeah it's true
0:18:15 because that's what you're doing you're
0:18:16 kind of interrogating him you don't have
0:18:18 a specific question I'm fine I will say
0:18:27 this though let's make this your last
0:18:29 push it because I'm going to here to a
0:18:30 five and I like to see a lot of people
0:18:31 so no problem yeah yeah but your last
0:18:34 person yeah so what one wonking eyes
0:18:37 this drug if you deal with person visit
0:18:42 a question or a statement let's start
0:18:43 there question okay my question is
0:18:47 simply
0:18:49 if we can identify that X practice
0:18:54 whoever that practice may be is causing
0:18:58 is having an effect on society which
0:19:03 might be detrimental
0:19:07 shouldn't we question banks practice
0:19:09 sure so you're saying like if men great
0:19:12 women all the time which happens all the
0:19:14 time you're saying simply question men
0:19:17 living
0:19:17 I don't think anyone questions that I
0:19:19 think everyone knows that I think that's
0:19:21 a university accepted at 1-over you're
0:19:23 saying if most people accept up that's a
0:19:26 long thing okay so you're you're so the
0:19:30 question is that people idea has to same
0:19:32 when you just ask
0:19:32 [Music]
0:19:34 let me give an example right you know
0:19:36 you know you know in the UK right you
0:19:39 know smoking cigarettes I don't know
0:19:41 what the rules are here but inside this
0:19:42 is quite a law I don't know if it exists
0:19:44 in this country or not
0:19:45 passive smoke so for example am I going
0:19:47 to the fair we can't smoke in this
0:19:49 inside are you caught in the park isn't
0:19:50 really oh that's interesting
0:19:52 no flash you can smoke outside but you
0:19:54 can't smoke inside yeah so if you go
0:19:56 into a restaurant like Starbucks you
0:19:57 can't smoke inside the thing and the
0:19:59 rationale behind that is well if you do
0:20:01 if you smoke and driving someone else
0:20:03 but when you're having sex
0:20:04 someone is deciding if I have sex with
0:20:07 someone walking by that's me deciding to
0:20:09 have sex with no no no yeah but what I'm
0:20:11 saying is this this is the imagine want
0:20:13 to draw we've specially transmitted
0:20:15 diseases not all of them are transmitted
0:20:17 through sex right it can be through
0:20:23 blood movement or even even gonorrhea or
0:20:27 syphilis a lot of them can be
0:20:28 transferred transferred from other than
0:20:30 sex you can transfer their yeah from so
0:20:33 for example a mother can transfer a in
0:20:35 an area syphilis or many of those
0:20:39 diseases
0:20:40 oh what's that one you got cosa yeah
0:20:43 that's perfect right so that can be
0:20:45 trying that can be transmitted from oven
0:20:48 and sexy sure I'm giving you I'm not
0:20:51 sure I'm not I'm not an expert at this
0:20:52 you are right but let's take aids is an
0:20:55 example yeah it can definitely be
0:20:57 transmitted by okay
0:21:00 is that your I just I just in terms of
0:21:02 time I want you to ask your last for
0:21:04 some really yeah yeah I'm with you on
0:21:06 that box you see what I'm saying yeah
0:21:09 if aids can be transmitted from other
0:21:11 insects yeah yeah I say for example we
0:21:13 can identify that a homosexual sex and
0:21:16 creates more a it may not actual sex is
0:21:20 not three mornings but I really
0:21:22 appreciate it and I know that's true
0:21:23 just in terms of time
0:21:26 can I ask him to well she just real
0:21:28 quickly yeah will you mind but thank you
0:21:34 for your time Mike thank you thank you
0:21:35 yes or no answers